Diff'rent Strokes

Philip: (about Arnold hitting Henry with a water bomb) I'm very sorry this has happened to you, Henry, and I can see to it that it doesn't happen again. Here. (gives him some cash) Will this cover the damage? Henry: Oh. Oh, sure it will. Usually I get hit by pigeons, and they don't tip!

Philip: Arnold, I'm afraid there's just one solution. This calls for a spanking. Arnold: A spanking?!? But there ain't enough of me to spank!

Kimberly: What's up? Philip: Well, Arnold dropped a water bomb on the maintenance man. Now, I've warned him about it before, and I promised him he'd be punished if he did it again. Arnold: He doesn't have to keep his promise to me. Philip: Am I being an unreasonable father? Mrs. Garrett: No, no. I agree with you, Mr. Drummond. Kimberly: So do I, Daddy. Arnold: Aww! Kimberly: What about no desserts for a couple of nights? Arnold: No dessert?!? I just sprinkled the man. I didn't drown him!

Philip: You shouldn't have fun at somebody else's expense. Now, I'm sorry, but this time, you're gonna be punished. Arnold: Aw, that ain't fair! Weren't you ever a little kid? Philip: I can't remember that far back. Besides, we weren't talking about me. Arnold: Well, let's make it even and don't talk about me, either.

Willis: Arnold's so small, he can get lost in a crowd of three.

Philip: What do you think about the [stock] market? Arnold: I think the price of tomatoes is too high.

Willis: (after Arnold drops the water bomb off the balcony) See you around! Arnold: Where're you going? Willis: Where you ain't. I don't wanna be around when they lay the charge on you. Arnold: What charge? Willis: Assault with a wet weapon.

Willis: (looking into a telescope) Check out that girl. Arnold: Who cares about a girl, I ain't even had a dog yet.

Mrs. Garrett: Arnold, you may be a size small, but when it comes to trouble, you're a 42 long.

Arnold: (thinking Willis is going to give him a fake spanking) What are you going make sound like my butt? Willis: Your butt.

Willis: I don't like spanking my brother. Arnold: Then why'd you do it so hard?!

Willis: Kids shouldn't spank kids. Arnold Especially when one of those kids is me.

(After the spanking) Philip: Willis, you're crying. Mrs. Garrett: Don't tell me the little one beat up the big one!

Arnold: Don't spank me. I may grow up to be mean.

Kimberly: Don't spank him, spankings are so barbaric and medieval. Philip: They've been so popular up till this year.