Diff'rent Strokes

Arnold: Mr. D. would rather take some dumb birds and bees on his honeymoon than us.

Diane: Arnold, when a man takes a woman out on the balcony, he doesn't show her a telescope. Arnold: What's he show her then? Philip: The moon. Arnold: At her age, shouldn't she have seen the moon by now?

Arnold: Would you like an after dinner mint? Philip: No. Arnold: Some bubble gum? Philip: No bubble gum. Arnold: How about a toothpick? Philip: Goodnight, Arnold. Arnold: Well since you're going to bed, you won't be needing a toothpick.

Diane: (proudly) I have a boy and a girl, and I see them about twice a year. Willis: Twice a year? Arnold makes more trips than that to the dentist. Arnold: Yeah, I don't have any teeth left.

Kimberly: If you propose to her, you'll get married and she's going to ship us off to schools in different countries. We won't be together!