UPN (ended 2000)




Episode Guide

  • Season 2
    • Ethics
      Episode 17
      Because they've come under scrutiny for unethical business practices, the company sends the employees for mandatory ethics training. Of course, the major ethics violators, management doesn't have to attend. Instead they are out deciding who is going to get the next major contract. The Pointy-Haired Boss agrees to take the "Internet Voting Network" contract and Dilbert is made the project lead. Of course such a voting system could easily be violated, so when the special interests groups find out that Dilbert can't be bought with money, they hire an alternative that just might work, a woman. Dilbert faces the ethical dilemma of selling out his integrity for the chance that he might get together with a real woman. Searching for an ethical answer to this dilemma, Dilbert (via the Garbage Man) consults Ben Franklin. He sticks to his principals and the election is held, although some kid hackers get Harry Ass McGee on the ballot. The results of the election are meaningless anyway, as the Secret Ruling Class (of which Dogbert and Ben Franklin are members) still decide the result of the election.moreless
    • The Fact
      Episode 16
      Dogbert "writes" a new book on "Chronic Cubicle Syndrome: If You Think You've Got It, You've Got It" which becomes a best seller. The Pointy-Haired Boss sees this as a market opportunity for the company to come up with a new product. Dilbert is put in charge of developing the product that will fight this dreaded affliction, that is after they find some "favorable facts" that will justify their product. Meanwhile, Dogbert begins marketing his "Secret Juice Formula" which is believed to help fight the symptoms of "Chronic Cubicle Syndrome". Dilbert struggles to develop a product to combat a condition that doesn't exist, but eventually he hits upon the idea for "Shock Pants". Of course marketing decides that the voltage on these pants should be turned up and people are getting hurt. With the threat of lawsuits pending Dilbert is going to be made a scapegoat unless he can come up another use for the product and target a different market. After all, it's all about marketing.moreless
    • Company Picnic
      Episode 15
      It's time for the company picnic and the annual softball game between the Marketing Gurus and the Crapulets from engineering. Dogbert is brought in as their player/coach and Dilbert is designated as pitcher. Dilbert meets Juliet from the marketing department, which causes him to worry about his out of office attire. Meanwhile, the Pointy-Haired Boss gets a deal on wieners, which ultimately gives everyone on the marketing team food poisoning. So Dilbert, for the first time in his life, makes it to second base; but thwarts himself with food poisoning.moreless
    • The Delivery (2)
      Episode 14
      Dilbert reviews the results of his "ultrasound" and demands a second opinion. He discovers he is not going to get any benefits. So he tries to sell his story to make money to cover his benefits. The media circus begins and a custody battle is staged, with Judge 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin presiding. The hillbilly, the billionaire, the cow, the robot and the engineers fight for the custody of Dilbert's unborn baby. When the verdict comes in, Dogbert executes plan B, which involves Dilbert's escape and delivery of the baby, eventually to the planet Krypton.moreless
    • Pregnancy (1)
      Episode 13
      Dilbert creates a model rocket that he plans to send into space to search for intelligent life. Ratbert sets it off and the rocket travels into space and collects alien DNA, and when it returns to earth it also picks up samples of hillbilly, robot, cow and engineer DNA. The rocket deposits the results of its search in Dilbert, who subsequently beings showing signs of becoming female, as he has become pregnant. Meanwhile, the company gets a new HMO, which is contained within an Italian restaurant.moreless
    • 5/30/00
      The engineers hear that there is an unused cube to be had. They discover its location and lay claim to it, before marketing can get a hold of it. To ensure that they don't lose this precious commodity, they quickly create an employee named Todd as a new employee and the cube's occupant. Word quickly spreads about this great new employee and soon Todd is made the engineering project head. So Dilbert and Alice find that they must do Todd's work in addition to their own and the Wally's When Catbert can't find any record of Todd, the engineers create an employee file for Todd. Catbert counteracts by instituting a rating system, which means that while Todd is the highest performer in the group, Wally is classified as "Retard", which gets him fired. The engineers decide they need to kill Todd. The Pointy-Haired boss overhears this and the engineering team is arrested and it's up to Dogbert and Wally to save the day.moreless
    • The Return
      Episode 11
      Dilbert buys a new computer over the Internet. He has it sent to work so that he can show it off, but the package that the Pointy-Haired Boss signs for, is not what Dilbert ordered. Dilbert tries to complain, but finds out that his own company provides the support for Comp-U-Comp's complaint line. Dilbert finds out where Comp-U-Comp is located and goes to complain to whoever's in charge. Comp-U-Comp is a company that is runs by a computer that also runs the world. Comp-U-Comp challenges Dilbert to games of chess, badminton and Scrabble to get his replacement computer; but as usual, it's up to Dogbert to save the day when he finds the guy who guards Comp-U-Comp's plug.moreless
    • The Assistant
      Episode 10
      Dilbert meets an old co-worker who, despite being an incompetent engineer, has made it big working for another company. As a result the engineers find out there are other opportunities out there. Upper management decides to promote one of the engineers, to make the others think they might still have a chance at a career path. Dilbert is promoted and given an assistant. Wally is intrigued by the concept of engineering jobs in the outside world. Jealous of Dilbert, Alice convinces Catbert to make Asok her assistant. Then Alice goes into competition with Dilbert, assistant versus assistant.moreless
    • 2/8/00
      Dilbert's already noisy neighbors compound things when they get an elephant. They also have a habitat built for the elephant, which is a large tree house that is located directly over Dilbert's roof. The "Tree Lover Society" is suing the company and the Pointy-Haired Boss wants to have an off-site meeting with the only member of this society, Elmer Oakley. It is decided the meeting will be held at Dilbert's house. As host of the meeting, Dilbert tries to get his placed prepared for the scrutiny of his co-workers. Meanwhile, Dogbert goes off to create a puppet government and later looting national treasures. When everything goes wrong, it is up to Dogbert to set everything right.moreless
    • Hunger
      Episode 8
      Dilbert is working a new food source called the "tomeato" that may end world hunger. Marketing dismisses the idea, but Dilbert sells them on the idea of trying the product in what he believes is the famine-ridden country of Elbonia. To get there Dilbert is forced to visit the trolls in accounting to get his travel budget increased. In Elbonia the "tomeato" is planted and begins to grow quickly in the Elbonian mud. Unfortunately this throws Elbonia into a famine, since the mud was their food source. In addition, exposed to the air to long, the "tomeato" can become explosive, so Elbonia jumpstarts its economy by turning the "tomeato" into bombs. To get the Elbonians to eat the "tomeato" Dogbert calls in a force that cannot be denied, Dilmom.moreless
    • The Merger
      Episode 7
      The Pointy-Haired Boss is convinced their company needs to merge with another company to help them spend their excess money and as a bonus gain some "Synergy". Dogbert is hired as a merger consultant to help them seek a company that they can merge with. Dogbert, Dilbert and the Pointy-Haired Boss go out to a bar where CEO's hang out called Senor Management and when the bar closes they find only one CEO left that they can merge with, the CEO of an alien corporation called "Brainsuck Industries". To stop the merger that is breaking up "his family", Dilbert figures out how to stop the merger with some help from marketing.moreless
    • 1/18/00
      Dilbert and the building security guard get into a discussion that results in them betting that they could do each other's job for a day. Each does a credible job in each other's position, but Dilbert's chance to win the bet is in jeopardy when Wally's side project of running various office pools turns the office into a casino. Just in time for Alice to show some young girls what it is like to work in an engineering office. Dogbert shows the girls the finer points of card counting.moreless
    • The Dupey
      Episode 5
      The company has been creating a buzz in the market place about something called a "Dupey". Dilbert is put in charge of creating this new sensation. He is successful in the task, but the resulting creation evolves and takes on a life of its own. Meanwhile, Dogbert runs a baby assertiveness seminar.moreless
    • The Trial
      Episode 4
      Dilbert is the only one in the company with a life so boring that his blood is safe for donating, so they take a few pints. One of the pints is thrown out the window and is used to put Dilbert in jail for the murder of a group of Nobel Prize winners, while the real culprit is the ever-oblivious Pointy-Haired Boss. While in prison, Dilbert makes numerous process improvements and Alice gets married to death row inmates.moreless
    • Art
      Episode 3
      The Pointy-Haired Boss looks to the world of art as an opportunity to exploit. Dilbert is assigned the task of creating art. His research indicates that the public would like to see a blue duck, so he creates one on his computer and it takes the art world by storm to the point where it is destroyed. Dilbert is captured and taken to see the head of the five families of art, Leonardo da Vinci. Da Vinci knows the only the solution to the problem is to make the blue duck uncool; fortunately the Pointy-Haired Boss unknowingly implements the solution.moreless
    • 11/9/99
      Dilbert has a near death experience and tries to get his benefits reinstated. He also searches for the meaning of it all, is the afterlife really just another cubicle? Meanwhile, through a bizarre accident, a group of multi-level marketing students begin to worship Wally.
    • The Gift
      Episode 1
      Dilbert searches for a birthday gift for his mother. In desperation he confronts his greatest fear, going to the mall. The mall holds bad memories for Dilbert, because as a child he went to the mall with his father, only to be left lost and abandoned when his father became obsessed with the "All You Can Eat" special at one of the mall's restaurants.moreless
  • Season 1