Dilbert

Season 2 Episode 6

The Security Guard

0
Aired Monday 8:00 PM Jan 18, 2000 on UPN
9.0
out of 10
User Rating
21 votes
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Episode Summary

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Dilbert and the building security guard get into a discussion that results in them betting that they could do each other's job for a day. Each does a credible job in each other's position, but Dilbert's chance to win the bet is in jeopardy when Wally's side project of running various office pools turns the office into a casino. Just in time for Alice to show some young girls what it is like to work in an engineering office. Dogbert shows the girls the finer points of card counting.moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Chris Elliott

    Chris Elliott

    Voice of Dogbert

    Jim Wise

    Jim Wise

    Loud Howard

    Daniel Stern

    Daniel Stern

    Voice of Dilbert

    Tress MacNeille

    Tress MacNeille

    Carol/Various Guests

    Tom Kenny

    Tom Kenny

    Ashok/Ratbert

    Larry Miller

    Larry Miller

    Voice of the Pointy-Haired Boss

    Wayne Knight

    Wayne Knight

    Voice of the Path-E-Tech Security Guard

    Guest Star

    Jim Wise

    Jim Wise

    Voice of Loud Howard

    Recurring Role

    Tress MacNeille

    Tress MacNeille

    Voice of Unknown

    Recurring Role

    Tom Kenny

    Tom Kenny

    Voice of Asok/ Ratbert

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

    FILTER BY TYPE

    • TRIVIA (3)

    • QUOTES (15)

      • Zombie: (to Dilbert) Are you finished?
        Dilbert: I guess so.
        Zombie: Good, now where's the bathroom?
        Dilbert: Since when do Zombies need bathrooms?
        Zombie: When they drink 12 beers.

      • Dogbert: Hey Asok, look over there. It's a rewarding career.
        Asok: Where? I don't see a rewarding career.
        Dogbert: I'm good.
        Girl: Asok, look over there. It's a woman who respects you despite your low status and tiny income.

      • Alice: Okay girls, this game is called craps because if you lose you can beat the crap out of Wally.

      • Dogbert: No, I'm infallible. I don't know why you can't remember that.

      • Alice: The man in the ill-fitting blue suit is Dilbert. Don't be like him.

      • Dilbert: I'm working security and looking good.

      • Dilbert: The course includes sitting in a chair, pointing toward the elevator, shooing smokers away from the lobby entrance, and killing intruders with your thumb.
        Dogbert: Does it have to be an intruder? Because that could come in handy.

      • Dilbert: Do you have to argue with every single thing I say?
        Dogbert: I don't have to, it's my hobby. I can quit anytime I want.

      • Dilbert: All they do is stand there and say have a nice day. It looks pretty easy.
        Dogbert: It looks easy because they're so good at it. If you try to do that job without the proper training you're dead meat.
        Dilbert: Dead meat is redundant. Once something gets classified as meat it hardly ever recovers.

      • Pointy-Haired Boss: (to security guard) Maybe you should cut back on the calories. That's how I got my summer home.

      • Pointy-Haired Boss: How hard can it be? I'm always correcting your work and I've never been to engineering school.
        Dilbert: You always correct my work from being right to being wrong.
        Pointy-Haired Boss: Well there's always enough time to be secure.

      • Security Guard: There's always enough time to be secure.
        Pointy-Haired Boss: That's my motto.
        Dilbert: That's not your motto.
        Pointy-Haired Boss: It is now. I liked it as soon as I heard it.

      • (Pointy-Haired Boss spits in Dilbert's glove box)
        Dilbert: What was that sound?
        Pointy-Haired Boss: I think you hit a squirrel.

      • Pointy-Haired Boss: Was it my singing, because I don't have to do GERMAN opera. I make up the words, so it could be any language you like.

      • Alice: Pick up your little monsters in an hour or I'll feed them to the homeless.
        (the mother laughs)
        Homeless guy: Is it time to eat?
        Alice: Come back in a hour.

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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