Dilbert

Pointy-Haired Boss: While you two are lollygagging around, Todd's having important meetings with important people. I don't know how he does it all.

Asok: And to think I emigrated here for the wide open spaces alluded to in folk songs and travel brochures. Never have I felt so betrayed.

Dilbert: How do you steal garbage? Asok: You can tuck it in your pants.

Pointy-Haired Boss: It's a recycling container. No obsolete equipment, no food, no toenail clippings, no dead animals. I'm probably forgetting a few things.

Pointy-Haired Boss: I'll be in my office doing some very important high-level breathing.

Pointy-Haired Boss: Why, if I was thirty pounds lighter and thirty years younger and... thirty percent stronger and... and thirty times taller I'd pop you one!

Wally: Hey, it's old Zeke. Alice: No, it's just young Zeke, who doesn't take care of himself.