Dinosaurs

Robbie: Don't do drugs -- and help stop preachy sitcom episodes like this one.

Fran: Why aren't you in school? Charlene: Oh. I knew we were supposed to be someplace. Robbie: Hey, Charlene, we're always someplace. (together) Whoa!

B.P.: Sinclair, I ought to kill you and your whole family, but I'd probably get in trouble with the union. As it is, there's only one thing I can do to you. You're fired Sinclair! Fired, fired, fired! Earl: Fired? That means I don't have to come to work anymore. Oh, this is the best day ever!

Robbie: Bye, Dad. You're great. Love you. Earl: Bye. (He and Robbie end up holding back, and breaking into laughter) Fran: What's so funny? Earl: I just realized I don't wear any pants! (He and Robbie laugh because of that ridiculous truth)

Baby: This is your brain. This is your brain on the plant. (hits Earl on the head with a frying pan) Any questions?

Baby: Mama bring me food? Fran: No honey, Mama couldn't get any groceries at the market because they refused to take our check. Apparently there's no money in our account. Earl: How could there be? I haven't been to work in the longest time. Fran: What're you talking about? Earl: I got fired a week ago, it was the happiest moment in my life...no wait, this is...no wait, this is! Fran: Stop it! You've been leaving the house every morning, where've you been going? Earl: Well the first couple of days I just stood in the driveway, but that soon that stopped being fulfilling, so I decided to improve myself, I've been going back to school. Fran: You mean high school? Earl: Well it started off as high school, but then I got sent back to junior high. It wasn't so much the academics, I just had trouble socially.

Earl: Kids, I'm having a thought. Robbie: Go, Dad. Earl: Maybe Mom's got a point. Maybe throwing away everything real and lasting in our lives for a cheap high has a downside. Charlene: Yeah. Earl: So we agree? No more plant? Robbie & Charlene: No more plant. Earl: No more throwing our lives away? Charlene: Well... Robbie & Charlene: No more throwing our lives away. Earl: Good. Now let's go home and tell your mother the good news. Robbie: But first we have to destroy the plant so we won't ever be tempted to use it again. Earl: No, son. To destroy the plant would be an act of weakness. We must be stronger than the plant. We must leave it here to remind us that there is always temptation in the world and that we must always be strong! (the scene cuts to sometime later, Fran is with the family, and there is a fire in front of them) Earl: Of course, burning it's a good idea too, right, sweetheart? Fran: Uh-huh.

Earl: (while looking at his hands) Hey, why is our numerical system based on 10 when we only have eight fingers? (Charlene and Robbie also stare at their hands) Charlene: Hey, yeah. We've got eight. Robbie: Aww...geez.

Robbie: Did you guys ever think that maybe we're being watched? Earl: (looks around suspiciously) What do you mean, son? Robbie: Well, I mean, like, all the time, by secret cameras hidden in the walls, like... like, there! (points straight ahead) Or there! (points to the left) Or there! (points tot he right) Charlene: Huh? Robbie: (stammering, because as his finger is moving, so is the camera) Uh, uh... And that maybe our whole lives are on TV in some other universe somewhere. Charlene: Yeah. yeah, and if they stopped watching us, we'd cease to exist. Robbie & Charlene: (they both gasp) Whoa!!