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Earl: But it's such hard work being a parent. Can't society do it for me?
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Earl: The time for reasonable discussion is gone. It's time for mindless, reckless action.
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B.P.: (to Earl) I shower you with presents and this is the thanks I get? You bring your child here to abuse me!? I'm gonna rip your head off and play hacky sack with it!
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B.P.: The company's board of directors has made a decision that affects you.
Earl: Oh, how surprising and unfortunate that they should notice me.
B.P.: They decided to offer an incentive program to get you freeloading, lard-filled princesses to work harder.
Earl: Incentives?
B.P.: I thought holding your head underwater until your eyes bugged out would be more productive, but I was overruled.
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Earl: I guess, maybe, I overreacted when I had the government abolish all our personal freedoms just to stop our kid from saying dirty words.
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Fran: Earl, what is that on your legs?
Earl: Uh, thery're called pants. They're remarkably uncomfortable. The government said we're all supposed to wear them from now on.
Fran Why?
Earl I have no idea.
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Baby: Read me a story, Grandma Smoo!
Ethyl: You really think that's funny?
Baby: What? Smoo? Smoo funny? Smoo? Smoo! Yeah! Smoo funny!
Ethyl: Call me when you clean up your act. (Ethyl wheels herself out of the kitchen)