Dinosaurs

Robbie: So, I guess what we're saying, Dad, is that we always used to complain that you were such a drag and a killjoy, but now we understand why you're so boring and bitter and narrow-minded, uh... Sis, help me out here. I thought I was on my way to a compliment. Charlene: Oh, what Robbie is trying to say, Dad, is that we used to be angry at you, but now we just pity you. Earl: And about time.

(singing) Pearl: Some of us are trees, rooted in the ground, some of us are leaves that the breeze blows all around. I've always been a leaf, traveling fast and free, but sometimes how I wished I were meant to be a tree. Earl: I was born an oak, the mightiest of trees. But I envied every leaf floating gently on the breeze. And then a leaf explained. Pearl: We're really just the same. Pearl and Earl: We share a single life, though we go by different names. So if the winds too strong and we can't stay together, I hope you won't forget, you're part of me forever.

Pearl: (singing) He waved goodbye and threw me out, all I said was fine. Cuz when your ex is a big T-Rex you move on down the line. For his big long teeth go chomp. Charlene: Chomp. Baby: His big long teeth go chomp. Pearl: Uh huh, and his big fat feet go stomp. Baby: His big fat feet go stomp. Pearl: Chomp. Baby: Chomp. Pearl: Stomp. Baby: Stomp. Pearl: Ain't no use in crying, cuz when your ex is a big T-rex you... Pearl and Baby: Move on down the line! Baby: Yeah! Charlene: You know Aunt Pearl, Roy Hess just happens to be a big T-rex! Pearl: Yeah, that's true, but somehow I figure a sweet fella like that wouldn't have the heart to throw me out. Robbie: Or the arms! Pearl: Hey, now wouldn't that be a hoot? If I got married and settled down here. Now wouldn't that put a knot in Earl's britches? Charlene: Yep, all the more reason to do it. Robbie: Yeah, Dad's been a real jerk lately. Baby: He's no fun, (to Pearl) I want YOU to be my daddy. Pearl: Oh, I know you mean that in a sweet way. Baby: No I don't.

Pearl: Oh, why don't you lighten up? Earl: Lighten up? You kids would like that, wouldn't you? You'd like it if I acted like Pearl. Sashay into town, sing a few songs, give everybody a good time. You'd all just love that. Charlene: It'd be a big improvement. Robbie: Yeah. We'd sure like you better. Fran: Sounds exciting.

Earl: Now do you see what I mean? Where Pearl Sinclair goes, trouble follows. You want trouble, call Pearl. Pearl equals trouble. Look up trouble in the dictionary... Fran: I get it Earl! But let's not be hasty. We don't know for a fact she told the kids to disobey you. Earl: It doesn't matter, she provided the temptation. This wouldn't have happened if she wasn't here in the first place. Fran: That's not fair, Earl. By your reasoning, if I cheat on my diet because there's a chocolate cake in the fridge, you'd blame the cake! Earl: There's cake?