Dirt

Willa: This was all we could find in Dana's trash cans. Lucy: Well, I can see why she shreds. The horse has a tighter ass.

Willa: (sighs) You know, you're shooting film of a woman with a plastic bag over her hand, waiting for her dog to sh*t. Start clearing room for your Pulitzer. Don: Constipated. Probably feeding it dry food. Willa: (sarcastically) I'll use that as my lead.

Julia: (mistaking Toby for Holt) Hola, titty-boy! Toby: Uh, hang on. I've got Holt McLaren for you.

Lucy: Do you trust me? Holt: I don't even like you. Lucy: I don't like you either. Holt: Then we're safe.

Willa: I blew a source on this one. Brent: Speaking figuratively of course. Willa: Not that it's any of your business. smirks

Willa: I broke a promise. Brent: Oh, pfft... Which one? There are only three, sweetheart. The check is in the mail. This will only hurt a little. Willa: That's two. What's the third? Brent: I won't cum in your mouth. Willa: But I want you to.

Julia: What the hell? I mean, you bring her the Happy Meal and she's gonna be fine? Holt: I'm sorry. Look, babe, I love you. Let's just start over. Julia: Stop. Stop saying you love me. Holt: What do you want me to say? Julia: Say I embarrassed you. Say that you don't wanna get photographed with a druggie who's got snot in her hair. Be honest with me. Holt: Look, baby, you're depressed. So let's... let's talk to Dr. Tucker about your meds. Julia: It's not the meds. God. What are you waiting for? All right, if you're not gonna say it... I will. We're over. Holt: No. Julia: Yeah. We've been over for a long time.

Willa: Look, we coupled. That doesn't make us a couple. You can relax. I'm not expecting to meet your mother. Brent: Well, that's good. She's dead.

Willa: Three weeks ago, she was charging him with spousal rape. Brent: Well, it has to be a magical love connection. Willa: How do you forgive somebody like Joey Perez? Brent: Believe me. There's no better way to punish a man. I never let anybody forgive me. Willa: But why marry him? Brent: Better the devil she knows.

Don: A ground-breaking study in 1999, led by Eve Van Cauter at the University of Chicago, she showed that just six days of sleep restricted to four hours pushed 11 healthy young male volunteers into a pre-diabetic state. You need to sleep, Lucy. Lucy: I will.

Lucy: Some people would call you a saint. Dana: And you're thinking I'm a dumb shit. You know when you go into a club, and they stamp your hand? It means you can get back in without having to pay. That stamp is love. Love doesn't make you pay. Love forgives. Someday, you'll understand.

Lucy: I was 15 when he died. Holt: That's the first thing you've ever told me about yourself. Well, personal, I mean. Lucy: I told you I have never had an orgasm with anyone but you. That's not personal enough? Do you trust me? Holt: I don't even like you. Lucy: I don't like you either. Holt: Then we're safe.

Doctor: Take a deep, cleansing breath. Have you ever been hypnotized before? Lucy: I'm sorry. This isn't gonna work. That fountain just makes me want to pee.

Willa: We can talk dirty, but we can't talk Dirt. Brent: Anymore rules? Willa: How about... a pre-not-nup? Six weeks, and then we both walk away. No obligations, no expectations. Brent: And no crying. Willa: No cards at Christmas. Brent: Option to extend.

Lucy: Dana's been linked to everyone but Osama.