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Dirty Jobs

Dairy Cow Midwife

Season 3, Episode 27, Aired Apr 28, 2008

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8.2

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Inside an Indiana dairy farm, Mike learns how to milk a cow on a machine that looks like a merry-go-round. Then, Mike gets the inside scoop on how to inseminate a cow. Finally, he gets an up-close look at fatherhood as he helps deliver baby calves.moreless

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Fan Episode Reviews (4)

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How do I get to visit the farms and milk the cows

1.0

"Abysmal"

By mahafakir, Feb 06, 2012

I do not think milking cows is a dirty job. Milking Cows is fun. People find ways to get dairy farmers to let them milk their cows. They make videos of their milking experience and post them on U tubes. You have to see a smile on their faces as they squeeze the teats. They do not think it is a dirty job. I myself have milked cows by hands and machines. I've inseminated cows and heifers. I've milked bulls. Cows seemed happy as the bulls, being milked, rode them to inseminate the cows. Only the bull dick did not go inside the cow byt inside my container. But the bull did not mind. Only the cow was wondering what happened. I've helped young cows deliver their first calves. The cows were not confused at all. The cows do not know that their calves have been taken away from them. They just are happy when the milkers squeeze their teats instead of their teats being sucked by calves. It is a shame that sites like this find people like Mike make videos and have them write disgusting articles and post their articles on these sites. This fool has posted his videos on You Tube and always calls it a dirty jib. I do not think it is a dirty job. I'd like to visit a small farmer to milk his vows if he wants to go on a vacation.
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You learn everything about cows on a farm in this episode.

8.9

"Great"

By sparkie_ac, May 28, 2008

You learn everything about cows on a farm in this episode. We start with milking cows in a ring a round the cows. And Mike learns that burning with a light flame can keep the cows clean when he learns they have hair somewhere he didn't know. Then we learn to how make a pretty cow and find it's perfect mate. And Mike is the man to step in and show how the egg meets the sperm. Then from learn to soft hearted Mike delivers calves and has a touching moments. Once again we see our hero Mike with his great sense of humor and adventure take the family on a learning trip on the farm.moreless
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An interesting look at the dairy industry and not as horrifying as expected. Mike is fun to watch as always and this show was very informative.

8.4

"Great"

By nranger7, May 18, 2008

I normally don't write reviews of individual episodes. As the current editor of Dirty Jobs, I spend enough time writing a synopsis for most of them. However, before seeing this one I had read a review here first and based on that information, I was worried about the squeamishness factor. I have to look away each time I watch CSI, House or ER when they try showing what's going on with the internal organs. Ick. I did figure that the review I read was greatly exaggerated by an animal lover, but waited until I saw the episode to pass judgment on the writer. It was written by someone (named "dirtyjobreview") who registered just to comment on this episode. Seemed fishy. After watching, I'm starting to doubt if this person and I saw the same show!

I did not see any animal cruelty in this episode. Mike visits a dairy farm run by professionals and we get to see how things work. There is no "hidden footage". Fair Oaks Farms actually gives group tours of their facility and allowed Dirty Jobs to film there. So what exactly are they hiding? This episode simply shows how this farm milks and breeds their cows. Reality isn't always pretty (for animals or humans) and the previous reviewer doesn't seem to understand that. I have to admit that it does disturb me when people treat animals better than their fellow humans. I can't ignore how humans get mistreated on a daily basis. Many of the things done in this episode to the cows does not seem all that much different than things that get done to people. Going to the gynecologist is not fun. Mammograms are not fun. Colonoscopies are not fun. Giving birth is not fun. C-sections are not fun. I've never been artifically inseminated, but I highly doubt that that's fun. I don't expect much of what animals go through is fun either, but that's part of life. The day that I don't have to have invasive (yet medically necessary) procedures done on me is when I'll begin to worry about how much pain an animal is in while it gives birth. I did not see anything particularly disturbing about how these cows were treated. Everything appeared to be done efficiently and safely.

Contrary to what the other reviewer wrote, the machine the cows were on is not called a "rape rack". That's one thing that shows that the other reviewer did not actually see the episode. It was a milking machine. Nothing cruel about that. It would be more cruel and painful to not milk the cows. The machine actually looked kinda fun. Funny how nothing was mentioned about the blow torch used to clean the udders. That scared me (especially when they let Mike use it), but it didn't appear to bother the cows.

As for the cow getting a C-section, it did NOT get simply one shot of local anesthetic. It received several - another thing that leads me to believe that the entire show was not seen by the other reviewer. What really bothers me about the condemnation of this part of the episode is that the calf (and probably the mother) would have died had the procedure not been done. It would have been a slow, painful and cruel death for both of them without the C-section. It was a little bloody and I did turn my head, but still not as bad as some dramas on tv. The cow also was not moaning in agony. The only cow that appeared to be in distress was the first cow we saw giving birth. The vet explained that this was the first time for this particular cow so she was just upset and confused - not in pain. I imagine if I suddenly was giving birth and didn't know what was going on, I'd be freaking out too.

I like animals and would not promote animal cruelty. However, I also like meat and I'm not ashamed to eat meat. I drink milk and I'm not ashamed of that either. I live in a city and can't grow my own food or raise my own animals to live off of. I can't even imagine trying. Does that makes me biased? Maybe. Farms like Fair Oaks help provide millions of consumers like me with the food we need to survive. I have a lot of respect for what the people on this farm were doing. The way it was portrayed actually gave me faith in the ethical treatment of animals in the industry rather than put me against it. I think I would like to be a cow on this farm.

I don't disrespect vegans for their beliefs and I think it's great that many are standing up for something they strongly believe in. However, I don't appreciate being force-fed (haha) false notions of animal cruelty in an attempt to get me to stop eating meat. Farms that are obviously cruel to their animals should be shut down. If they don't care about the animals, then they don't care about what consumers are being given either. Cruel farms are only in the business for the money and that's where bacteria and horrible diseases like mad cow come into place. On a final note, isn't it funny how vegans don't seem to care that they're killing the plants they eat? How do you think the soybean feels to be killed just for your dinner? Why is that not considered cruelty as well? We might as well not eat at all... :)moreless
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As shocking as a PETA video, but on mainstream TV!

10

"Perfect"

By dirtyjobreview, Apr 29, 2008

Thank you so much for showing the obscene behind the scenes cruelty of the dairy industry. Most people have to go to PETA.com to view such heinous hidden camera footage of the milk industry. But you guys made it front and center for the public to view! The cows in headlocks on the "rape rack" as it is known, being anally fisted, having a probe pushed through their cervix (any of you women out there know how painful this is) and the brutality of how the dairy industry removes the newborn calves right away from the mother is, well, the heinous truth of life on the factory. No mention of where the male calves go.....but we all know the answer....to veal and beef farms where the cruelty continues. Even the host showed some compassion, although minimal, as he looked into the calves "big brown eyes." What pushed me over the edge was the c-section footage. You could see how much the cow suffered having major surgery without any anesthesia! Can you imagine! One small shot of a local anesthetic made no difference as the cow moaned in agony when the supposed "vet" starting slicing into her flesh while she was still totally awake. I want to thank you for doing this show and not for the reasons you think. You guys put the cruelty of factory farming front and center. You will inevitably cause massive change in people's eating habits by promoting veganism (not eating or wearing any animal products.) Who could drink milk, eat cheese, or eat ice cream at the expense of these unfortunate cows now? I wait for the day when this callous and inhumane way of producing milk is a thing of the past. Your show last night will begin the process for millions who watched the horrors on this farm. Until then, soy milk is where it's at!moreless
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TRIVIA (2)
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- In this episode, Mike is concerned about a blow torch being used so close to a cow's flatulence. However, contrary to popular belief, the high amounts of methane emitted from cows (and being blamed for global warming) does not come from a massive amount of flatulence. Rather, it comes from the burping of a cow. All ruminating animals (cows, sheep) burp high amounts of methane. One cow can burp 400 quarts of methane gas per day.
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- For more information on Fair Oaks Farms and their Dairy Adventure tours, check out their website at www.fofarms.com.
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QUOTES (8)
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- Mike Rowe: (putting on gloves) You just told me not to touch the tips, didn't you. Mike the vet: That's good. You're only going to be working on the outside. Mike Rowe: I'll be waiting in the car. I'll be fine. Your car will be very sterile.
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- Mike: Is that a penis? Denise: That's the nut sack. Mike: The nut sack? You really are a scientist. (laughs) Mike: Well, then I'm going to say this is a boy unless we have the first nut sack bearing female on record.
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- Mike: (with his arm up a cow's rectum) I could have hosted a game show. No, I'm sticking with this gig for a little longer. See where it takes me.
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- Joe: The pins are the cheeks of your rump. Mike: Well, not my rump. That rump. Joe: The cow, excuse me. Mike: Just so we're clear.
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- Mike: Study after study has shown that cows find me fascinating.
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- Mike: If I could do that I'd never leave the house.
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- Mike: I like this job. Grand marshal at a poo parade.
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- Mike: Good grief! This place is held together with crap.
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