Dirty Jobs

Mike: I am equally incompetent with either limb.

Mike: Oh look at that, that's an upside down screw. That sounded dirty.

Mike: So Sergeant, what's your advice for untying a piece of parachute wire that's soaking wet in pee? Sergeant: Wash your hands before you eat chicken nuggets.

Mike: Hey Sarge, has it occurred to you that this 2 billion dollar aircraft is basically held together with rubber and string? Sergeant: Yeah it has. Mike: Kinda like our show.

(said while scraping sealant inside a cramped aircraft belly) Sergeant: I actually chose this job. Mike: What the hell? Did you lose a bet?

Mike: What the heck is that? If you tell me to lie down and put my feet in the stirrups, I'm out of here.