Dirty Jobs

Don (plumber): Got plenty of room for me to come in now? Mike: Honestly Don, I don't think you're gonna fit down here. Don: You know you keep talking about that issue like me being fat or something? What's up with that? Mike: I'm not, I'm just saying you're a lot of man and there's not a lot of room down here.

(said as Don was crawling over Mike) Don: You feel the love? Mike: I felt something.

(said as Don was crawling over Mike again) Mike: How come you're always on top? Don: I don't like the bottom.

Don: Are you just trying to make me look dumb on camera? Mike: No, I'm just trying to say that when it comes to looking dumb, there's plenty to go around. Don: Ok. Well you're doing fine for both of us.

Mike: Well, there it is, my day with Don the plumber. I slowed him down, I cost him some money, I ripped my shirt, I think I even got on his nerves a little bit, all in all, a good day, and a very dirty job.

Mike: Make mud? Andy (mud factory worker): Make mud. Mike: Milk milk, lemonade, turn the corner mud is made.

Mike: I just cleaned this tank and now we just dirtied it up. You want me to go clean a tank so we can make that dirty too, so we can haul the clean dirty mud somewhere else? Andy: That's right. Mike: It'll be a shame to get the mud dirty.

Mike: I'm the muddiest man in the land.

Andy: It's like a lubricant for threads. You swab that thing in there and be generous with it. Mike: You can't have too much lubricant. Andy: There you go, there you go. Mike: I know about the lubricant. Andy: You sure look like you do.

Mike: When you're serious about getting dirty: roughnecking. It's all the rage.

Mike: We like to have a look at your dirty videos. No, not those dirty videos, your dirty job videos.