Dirty Jobs

(referring to goats) Mike: So aside from the fainting and the worms and the incest and the peeing on the feet and the occasional drinking of the urine, they really are fantastic pets.

(referring to a goat) Mike: So the Fonz is now expressing his pleasure by peeing all over his feet. And I do believe he's licking it as he's peeing it. "Honey, get in here. Look what they got on the Discovery Channel. That goat's drinking his own pee". Goat farmer: Well, they're peeing on themselves to impress the girls, so the girls will let them breed with them.

Mike: A castrated goat is called a wether? Whether or not I have my testicles, I'm going about my day.

Mike: I am 100% certain that those mules untied my knots with their hooves.