Dirty Jobs

Mike: Since were starting off with the captain's balls I hesitate to ask what's in store next.

Randy: The pointy end. Mike: That's like the bow. Diana: Yeah, I didn't want to confuse you. Mike: Randy's a seaman. Mike: I am a seaman, yes. Mike: Which brings us back to the captain's balls.

Mike: After gently polishing the captain's binnacle balls, careful not to be spanked by his boom, I began to look forward to any new job free of innuendo.

Mike: How do I get my tool dirty? Well, if it's heavy and blunt sometimes I'll take it to a secluded hillside and pound away. Other times I'll take it into a long dark tunnel where the two of us can make beautiful music together. (talking about the hammer)

Mike: When my tool is a big steel rod, I like to wedge it into tight places and boy it sure does get dirty. So after my work I clean it up in my bathroom. (talking about a crowbar)