Dirty Sexy Money

Karen Darling: (to Freddy) Nick used to read me poetry out loud. It was so sweet. Do you remember, Nick? Remember? Nick George: Karen... Karen Darling: I always thought we'd be married, didn't you? Nick George: Karen, I think Freddy... Karen Darling: I did. Instead I married three, well, it's gonna be four other people. It's weird. Weird, isn't it? Life's so weird...

Jeremy Darling (about Tripp): He thinks I'm a loser, and he's right. I mean, look at me. I can't even win a yacht without getting arrested. I have the worst life in the world. Nick George: Jeremy. Jeremy Darling: What? I do, Nick... Nick George: Jeremy, shut up. Jeremy Darling: What? Nick George: You have all the money you're ever gonna need. You're never gonna have to work a day in your life. 30,000 people die of starvation every day. Did you know that? Every day. Jeremy Darling: Yeah, but out of 7 billion people... Nick Geroge: Look, the point is that life for most people is a living hell. So your life is not the worst life in the world by any stretch of the imagination, any.

Juliet Darling: If am so terrible, Duncan Mcdoorknob, then why did you cast me? Producer: Because your dad's financing the whole production. Juliet Darling: Daddy paid for this? Producer: Of course. You don't think you can act, do you? Haven't you seen the looks on everyone's mugs when you squeak and squawk your way through your lines, you dodgy wee twig? Or are you blind as well? You're a nightmare! Juliet Darling: But daddy said he wasn't gonna do that anymore. I thought I earned this part! Nick George: Juliet, there are lots of ways... Juliet Darling: Oh, I wish I was dead! Nick Geroge: ...to earn the part. What, uh, exactly went wrong here? Producer: She stepped on the stage, that's what went wrong. She couldn't act her way out of a paper bag, mate, let alone a play.

Brian Darling: But there are better lawyers than Nick George, who would do a lot more for us for a lot less money, and who wouldn't bring this massive attitude of entitlement to the table. Karen Darling: Nick has never felt entitled to anything. Brian Darling: Karen, you're drunk and in love with him, so shut the hell up.

Letitia Darling: Brian, if your father feels that... Brian Darling: We all know how dad feels. He loves Nick George, but he's wrong. Patrick Darling: Since when is loving someone ever wrong? Jeremy Darling: Nick's wet. He's the brother I always wanted. Patrick Darling: Hey... Ignatz! Jeremy Darling: Other brother... Other brother...

Letitia Darling (describing one of her children's birthday parties): There were hot air balloon rides, ponies, you know... Typical birthday party.

Journalist: (to Jeremy) Are you getting back together with Kylie Minogue?!

Nick: You asked Bill Clinton if he wanted to represent the family? Tripp: Took my shot.

Nick George: Tripp, certainly there are better equipped lawyers than me to deal with the family affairs. Tripp Darling: Yeah, I know, and I contemplated bringing some hotshot in to take the reins. No one seems right. Considered Johnnie Cochran... Nick George: He's dead, Tripp. Tripp Darling: (laughs) Yeah, I know, I found out. He was a bit of a grandstander anyway, loudmouth.

Juliet Darling: I want to be a human being! Letitia Darling: And someday you'll be one.

Juliet Darling: Oh! When did you get back from Tahiti? Jeremy Darling: Uh... Thirty minutes and six double espressos ago.

Nick George: (Voiceover) Money makes everything go wrong.

Jeremy Darling: (He presents a dollar bill origami sailboat to Nick) Give that to Kiki. Tell her I'm sorry I made you late.
Nick George: Where'd you learn how to do that?
Jeremy Darling: My coke dealer.

Nick George: All right listen, this has been a massive misunderstanding, and I can assure you my client is going to be found innocent of all charges brought against him, so there's no story here. Please excuse us. Female Reporter: Is it true you won the Yacht in a poker game, Jeremy? Male Reporter: Jeremy, how long have you been smuggling people into the country? Jeremy Darling: I don't know... Nick George: Don't answer that. Female Reporter: Is it true you were planning to harvest their organs? Nick George: You know, that is just dumb. Why say things like that?!

Nick: Look, he doesn't even know these guys. Jeremy: It's true I've never met those guys before in my life! Right, guys? The crew of Illegal Immigrants: Okay Captain Jeremy, Captain Jeremy okay! Nick: Did you teach 'em how to do that? Jeremy: Just havin' a little fun.

Male Reporter: Well the rumor is you can't act at all?! Juliet Darling: (Scoffs at Reporter) Well you're poor!