Dirty Sexy Money

Season 1 Episode 3

The Italian Banker

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Oct 10, 2007 on ABC
out of 10
User Rating
173 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

Nick tries to fix things when the Darlings are blackmailed over a sex tape starring a family member. Patrick is upset over being forced to end things with Carmelita. Brian's wife gets suspicious over the Swedish orphan he brought home. Jeremy tries to keep it quiet about him and Natalie, but when they all show up at a fundraiser for Patrick things get out of control.moreless

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  • good episode

    Patrick is being forced to break up with his girl/man/whatever friend while a sex tape is on the loose. When Nick went in to get the million dollars and the banker was like "I do this all the time for the Darlings..." Wow, they had a lot of money. How did they get rich again? Was that explained yet...anyways, we learn that the other billionaire bought the sex tape and then gave it to Nick...interesting twist. I can't wait to see what comes with that. Patrick finally figured that he should love who he wants to instead of obeying his father. Overall, another solid episode of Dirty Sexy Money.moreless
  • Intresting...

    At the start of the episode Nick recives a package, it looks like that one of the member of the Darling have been caught in sex-tape scandal Nick tries to get the to the bottom of this; he presumes it's Patrick's.

    Patrick is forced to break off his affair with Carmelita, him to go into a deep depression. Brian tells his wife that his son is a Swedish orphan.

    The Sex tape belonged to Karen who did it with the Cab Driver; the anonymous caller wants a huge some of cash for it Nick tries to sort it out but someone else comes in with a bigger offer.

    Meanwhile Jeremy tries to keep his affair with Natalie a secret as his sister does not like her one bit; the pair clash at the party and Juliet finds out.

    Patrick continues his affair with the Carmelita. The Police find nothing in the Documents that he gave them that suggest Elder had anything to do with his fathers death.moreless
  • More expected

    While this episode displays more of the Darlings quirkiness it doesnt do the previous episodes the justice Id hoped for. Though nothing really happens in this episode, the character development is plain for all to see.

    Id like to have seen something more important happen than what actually did. The only points of interest to the viewer is that Fr. Brian is shown that even though being a man of the cloth he retains his fathers ability to deal. Patrick Jr is addicted to his transexual partner and it will be difficult to give her up. The affair between Jeremy and Natalie is about the only story line that proves that the some Darlings do have positive traits (in my view). That is that he gives his girlfriend up when forced to make a choice between her and his twin sibling. The dialogue is of a high standard as is the acting and direction, but the storylines need to pick up fast as character development should really be placed with storylines of interest.

    The main plot is pretty inconsequential, just more of the sort of problems the Darlings generate for poor old Nick.

    Needs to get busy, but is still quality viewing.moreless
  • Good, but not great.

    This episode was a tad slower than the previous 2 installments, and that kind of ruined the episode. It was still good, but the fact the slowness of the pacing made it somewhat dull at times, simply because there's no master storyline of the show. The investigation is okay, but as I said before: it's just an excuse to Tripp and Nick have more scenes. Actually, the siblings' development was the very best part of this episode for me. Surprisingly well handled! I also grown to like Brian which is surprising. Overall, enjoyable episode but really dragged especially near the end, and there was no real punch, though I was expecting it.moreless
  • Nick settles into his role. The Twins are the feature point for much of the ep. No dramatic twists.

    I liked the way this episode really started growing the twins' characters and their relationship. Jeremy came over as a jerk in earlier eps but now he seems more human (well, in a Darling context anyway). Juliet's character got stronger this ep as well. Revealing her virginity to Nick was quite a touching scene and made her more likeable. And any episode with cute wrestling girls has to rate at least a 7!!

    But Fr Brian keeps getting the best lines. When questioned on the sex tape "How can you live with yourself?!" Haha! That whole scene was well edited and very funny.moreless
Kristin Bauer

Kristin Bauer

Rebecca Colfax

Guest Star

Zoey Botnick

Zoey Botnick

Leah Darling

Guest Star

Ursula Brooks

Ursula Brooks


Guest Star

Candis Cayne

Candis Cayne


Recurring Role

Daniel Cosgrove

Daniel Cosgrove

Freddy Mason

Recurring Role

Tamara Feldman

Tamara Feldman

Natalie Kimpton

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (1)

    • The Italian Banker (title of the episode) is a sexual position which is seen being performed in the sex tape of one of the Darlings. It is also sometimes referred to as The Italian Chandelier. The title also refers to a literal Italian banker, Paolo, who helps Nick with producing the money he needs to bribe the one who holds the sex tape.

  • QUOTES (18)

    • Nick: (on sex scandal tape) OK, just to be sure, not even any kissing or touching or heavy petting while the camera was on?

    • Nick: Let yourself go, Pat.
      Patrick: Thanks, Nick. I will.

    • Juliet: Thank you for sticking up for me.
      Jeremy: She was out of line. It was no big thing.
      Juliet: No, it was huge. It was the best. I'm sorry that I said you had a thing for her. I guess my twin-tuition's off this year.

    • Nick: (on Patrick's sex scandal tape) Well, let's just think for a second. Do we even know that this tape actually exists?
      Rebecca: Think about it. Patrick Darling.
      Nick: I'll talk to him.

    • Reporter: Juliet Darling, is it true you got banned from the Argyle for starting a fire?
      Juliet: That was an accident!
      Reporter: Isn't this really about Natalie Kimpton. You hate each other so much you can't even stay in the same hotel?
      Juliet: Is that what she said?
      Reporter: Oh, no. She said you're a small-minded fashion victim. End quote.
      Other Reporter: Do you have a comment to that?
      Juliet: I have never wanted anything but good things for Natalie. I wish her success and happiness. Peace out! Bring the boys home.

    • Nick: So, I hate to ask you this but you never filmed yourself performing a sexual act ever? With Ellen or anyone?
      Patrick: No.
      Nick: With Carmelita?
      Patrick: Nick, what part of "No" do you not understand?
      Nick: Just be completely honest with me.
      Patrick: I am being completely honest with you. I never made any sex tape. Quite frankly, I don't find them to be very romantic.

    • Juliet: What's going on with you lately?
      Jeremy: What? Nothing.
      Juliet: I'm sensing some sort of weird vibe. You know how my twin-tuition gets really good a month before our birthday.
      Jeremy: There's no such thing as twin-tuition.
      Juliet: Yes, there is and you know it!

    • Nick: Well, I've spoken with Patrick.
      Rebecca: And?
      Nick: And he claims he's never made a sex tape. Says they're not romantic.
      Rebecca: Nick, let me let you in on a little secret about the Darlings, Nick. They lie.

    • Juliet: I'm a virgin.
      Nick: Oh. Wow. That's a surprise. A real total virgin?
      Juliet: Yeah. I've never even... (holds her hand to her lips) well anything.
      Nick: Juliet, why do you...
      Juliet: ...let everyone think I'm a slut?
      Nick: Yeah.
      Juliet: It's easier.

    • Karen: So alright I made a sex tape. It's not like it's against the law.
      Nick: I'm not saying it's against the law, Karen. It's just that you lied to me.
      Karen: Oh, I hurt your feelings.
      Nick: No, Karen.
      Karen: I'm sorry Nick. I won't do that again.

    • Patrick: Funny thing is, I'm not allowed to be loved for who I really am. Poor people. Nobody's regular beings that only God sees. They can be loved for who they are but not me. Because you know why?
      Clark: We should really go, sir.
      Patrick: 'Cause I'm a scion. I'm a Darling twig. A tender shoot that's stuck to a tree that I cannot live without.

    • Patrick: Dutch was so, so proud of you Nick. You must know that, right?
      Nick: I'm always proud of him. I didn't give him very many opportunities to say it.
      Patrick: Does anybody get life right?
      Nick: I don't know. I just know that no matter what, tomorrow is another day, another opportunity, another chance.

    • Freddy: (on learning about Karen's sex tape) That's the difference between you and me, Nick. I realize that nobody is perfect. You? You're still trying.

    • Juliet Darling: I don't need my twin-tuition to see you googling her ass!
      Jeremy Darling: Don't you mean ogling--
      Juliet Darling: Whatever!

    • Brian Darling Sr: (after scolding his bewildered son about his own lies) Remember, we pay the rent in this house with honesty. Don't make me raise your rent.
      Mei Ling: Do you really believe his name is Gustav?
      Brian Darling Sr: What choice do I have. Now at some point you have to just put your faith in humanity. Gotta get to bible study.

    • Nick George: (referring to the Karen Darling sex tape) Okay... you the guy that bought it?
      Courier: (scoffs) No, but my boss did... for 3 million dollars.
      Nick George: Your boss?
      Courier: Simon Elder. Yeah, he's not the man you think he is. And your boss isn't either.

    • Nick George: What the hell are they doing?
      Daisy: The Italian Banker.
      Nick George: How do you know that?
      Rebecca: Ah... the reverse Italian Banker.

    • Nick George: They all said no.
      Rebecca: Told ya, Patrick made the sex tape. Patrick's lying. Patrick's going to be the next lying President of the Unites States of lying America.

  • NOTES (4)

    • The song playing when the vault is opened is "The Flower Duet" from the opera Lakme by Leo Delibes.

    • Bellamy Young replaces Kiersten Warren as Patrick Darling's wife, Ellen Darling. Warren only appeared in the pilot episode.

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Denmark: April 5, 2008 on SBS Net
      The Netherlands: April 8, 2008 on NET 5
      United Kingdom: April 8, 2008 on E4
      Sweden: April 24, 2008 on Kanal 5
      Slovakia: July 12, 2009 on JOJ

    • The song at the end of the episode is "Everybody Knows" by Concrete Blonde. The song "Elevatin" by Wired All Wrong is also featured in this episode.