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Lisa: (removes tissue from Nick's face) There, now you're perfect.
Nick: Nah! I may look perfect but...
Lisa: Just like the Darlings.
-
Patrick: I'm not running for senate. I've decided. I'm telling my father today.
Carmelita: And when will you tell you wife?
Patrick: About the senate?
Carmelita: No, about us.
Patrick: Soon. I promise.
-
Brian: I told them that you were an orphan whose parents were killed in a violent bullet train accident in Sweden.
Brian Jr.: What's a bullet train?
Brian: That's none of your business.
-
Tripp: Here! (Throws a wad of cash to Nick)
Nick: What... What's this?
Tripp: I used to give some cash to your dad in the beginning of every work week.
Nick: For?
Tripp: Things come up. Trust me.
-
Norman Exley: Mr. George!
Nick: Yeah.
Norman Exley: A lot of times when your dad took the plane, brought along his lady friend.
Nick: Letitia Darling?
Norman Exley: Yes sir. I know I'm talking out of school here, but if I was Tripp Darling, I sure would've found that troublesome. Real troublesome.
-
Tripp: Contrary to popular belief, history is not made by great men. It takes more than one man to change the world. It takes more than one generation. It takes a family.
Patrick: Dad, I don't wanna make history. I just wanna live my life, okay?
-
(as Nick's phone rings)
Nick: That's Karen.
Lisa: Of course. Take it. She probably wants you to wash her pet tiger or insure her solid-gold toilet or something very reasonable like that.
Nick: It could be important.
Lisa: I said take it. Tell her "Hi!".
-
Nick: (Referring to Tripp) You think he's capable of murder?
Letitia: We're all capable of everything.
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Maria: (pocketing $500 from Nick after she catches him taking Tripp's diary) There were quite a few times I walked in on your father getting away with things. He put my daughter Alejandra through college. And med school.
-
Brian Jr.: Daddy, doesn't want me, does he?
Nick: Hey, Brian listen. Sometimes daddies get confused. But sometimes when a daddy gets around his own daddy, things get less confusing very very quickly.
-
Freddy: You... You're still in love with her.
Nick: Freddy, it's just a picture in a magazine for women and girls. What's the big freakin' deal?
Freddy: Fine, you know what, you can keep me out of the picture, Nick. But you can't keep me out of the picture, got it? Karen is mine.
-
Tripp: Who is this unnamed youth?
Brian: He is an orphan whose parents were killed in a bullet train accident in Sweden.
Tripp: Could he have taken my journal?
Nick: Oh no, I don't think so. No.
Letitia: Why would he take your journal, Tripp?
Tripp: Perhaps he thought it was filled with arcane secrets and treasure maps. It's that kind of object.
-
Tripp: Why would you take my journal?
Nick: I took it because I wanted to figure out...
Karen: What?
Nick: ...who killed my dad.
Tripp: You thought it might be me. That's why you stole my journal?
Nick: Well, I thought that...
Tripp: What possible reason could I have had to do such a thing? He was my best friend. I don't understand. (walks out of the room)
-
Jeremy: (Answers his phone) Jeremy Darling. Go.
Natalie: I just took a shower. I'm hot and I'm very very very wet.
Jeremy: I'm gonna have to get back to you on that.
Natalie: And what is that supposed to mean?
Jeremy: Just work on the second verse and give me a call when it's gold. Okay? Bye.
-
Juliet: How was the photo shoot?
Jeremy: It was a Trip!
Juliet: Oh yeah.
Jeremy: Yeah.
Juliet: Did everybody miss me?
Jeremy: We did, but it was kind of like you were there. We did, we felt your presence.
Juliet: Oh, good!
-
Lisa: (referring to Brian Jr.) Did you get hold of his mom? Or is he spending the night? Maybe staying forever? Are we gone adopt him, perhaps?
-
Tripp: We have this photo shoot happening here tomorrow. We're re-branding the family as fresh, hip, for Patrick's campaign.
-
Letitia: You know he has issues that will come out...
Tripp: Issues? Our married son has affairs with transsexuals and you stand there calling them issues?