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    • Lisa: I always wanted us to give Kiki this picture-perfect American life. Nick: Now we've got the picture-perfect American problems.
    • Lisa: I thought we were trying to make things work. Nick: Well, I thought we were too. I did. But they're not. And we're holding on to this thing like our lives depend on it but it's killing us.
    • Jeremy: I didn't think it would upset the whole fricking apple cart okay? I'm sorry it was a moment of weakness! Nola: A moment? A-a moment, yea. Try a lifetime.
    • Judge: Miss Lyons, if this case is on a fast train out to town, it's because you bought it a first class ticket. Don't you dare get self-righteous with me.
    • Nola: Yes! I'm sleeping with Jeremy Darling, the defendant's son. (To Nick) Happy? Nick: 'Happy' doesn't quite do it justice somehow but...
    • Nick: I guess putting my fist in your face didn't get my message across. Jeremy: It did! I swear! Wait... what was the message again? Nick: Just stay away from my wife. Jeremy: I am! I did! Get your hands off me. You don't have to go all Jet Li on me.
    • (Brian and his son are playing a boxing game on Nintendo Wii.) Brian Jr.: Eat it, Dad. Like the taste of leather?
    • Nola: Yes, I read about your shortlist for Chief of Staff. Geriatric, but meeting Daddy's approval I'm sure. Patrick: Miss Lyons, I'm not sure what brings you or your winning personality to the state office but I've already told you everything I know about my mother's case in my deposition.
    • Karen: Patrick, you of all people should know what it's like to be in love with someone that Daddy disapproves of. Brian: Well yes, Karen, but he also did not choose to fall in love with Daddy's mortal enemy.
    • Lisa: We are gonna talk about this? Nick: Talk about what? Lisa: The gallery. Nick: Well we did talk about it, Lisa. I said no, you did it anyway, so obviously talking about it doesn't help.
    • Brian: Boy, life with you just keeps getting better. First you move my son to South America, and now you got me pooping in a cup. (Andrea glares at him.)
    • Karen: Don't ask me to give up everything for nothing. Don't ask me to derail my life if you're not gonna derail yours. Because I can't leave Simon for an abstraction, Nick. I can only, I can only leave him for you. What's it gonna be?
    • Nola: Well, I hope you're happy Mr. Senator-elect. They forced me to resign. Patrick: I had nothing to do with that. That's between you and the judge and... my brother.
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  • Allusions

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    • Jeremy: Easy, Miss Cleo. Miss Cleo is a self-proclaimed psychic and shaman who achieved fame as a spokeswoman in television ads that aired during the late 1990s and early 2000s.
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