Doc Martin: Elaine, are you going to lend a hand here?
Elaine: I can't work in this.
Doc Martin: Well why don't you go home then?
Aunt Joan: The last time you were here you got a splinter in your finger on the beach and you cried.
Doc Martin: I was seven.
Aunt Joan: You were eleven.
Elaine: There's a patient waiting.
Doc Martin: No, there isn't because as you know, I'm not open for business yet.
Elaine: There's still a patient waiting.
Susan Brading: Old Dr Sim didn't care much for the rule book.
Doc Martin: He didn't care much for hygiene either by the look of his surgery.
Colonel Gilbert Spencer: Gilbert Spencer. Lieutenant-Colonel. Retired.
Doc Martin: Martin Ellingham. Doctor. Practicing.
Doc Martin: (Elaine is ignoring the ringing telephone) How are you feeling today? Any ringing in the ears?
Elaine: Any milk?
Doc Martin: One spore or two?
Doc Martin: It had turned to penicillin. It's in the bin.
Elaine: I'm Elaine.
Doc Martin: That must be nice for you.
Elaine: Practice receptionist?
Doc Martin: Oh. I'm not hiring yet.
Elaine: I've come from Delabole!
Doc Martin: Is that far?
Elaine: Hello! I've come from Delabole. There's no point going and then coming back later. I may as well start now, inn it.
Doc Martin: Right. You, hold this and shut up. You, get off the phone and find the stopcock and you, either go back to Delabole, wherever that may be, and don't come back, or go and find a mop and work out how to use it.
Aunt Joan: I always hoped you wouldn't grow up looking like your father but there you go.
Doc Martin: Whose is this sodding dog?
Doc Martin: Good afternoon, Elaine. You're looking efficient. Enjoy your tea.
Louisa: How are you finding us?
Doc Martin: Irritating. All except the primary school teacher who's a pirate, it seems.
Elaine: Are you gonna pay me for this week or what?
Doc Martin: What.
Aunt Joan: If you wanted a chocolate-box village, go to the Isle of Wight. This is a real place.