Dr. Katz

Laura: Have fun, and happy birthday. Ben: What's that supposed to mean? Is that some sort of sideways insult? Are you saying I'm fat?

(calling from his office) Dr. Katz: Hi, Ben. Ben: Dad, quiet down. Bird's sleeping. Wait a minute, you don't have to. I have to be quiet.

Laura: What I need for you to do is take the bird during the day – when I'm in the office -- and then, when the work day is over, I need you to bring it back to me so I can take it home. And I need you to do that for me all week. Ben: You know, it's an honor just to be asked. Laura: Ben, will you do it? Ben: Not so much an honor to actually do it.

Sam: (to Laura) You have a lot of problems, don't you? I can see it in your eyes: Sybil, Squeaky Fromme.

(on the phone) Ben: This morning, after I ate breakfast, I made an oath to myself after you left, that I would not eat any more cereal. Dr. Katz: Good for you, that's great! I'm proud of you. Ben: (with mouth full of food) I'm giving it up. I mean, I'm 25 years old, I can't sit here for the rest of my life in a house that's poorly decorated, and eat cereal. Dr. Katz: What are you eating there ... it sounds delicious. Ben: Cereal. Dr. Katz: What about your oath? Ben: Well [beep] the oath, who cares?

Dr. Katz: You know, some times, when a boy says he wants a dog, what he really wants is a hug ... or a dog.

(uncomfortable with the baby bird Laura is keeping) Dr. Katz: Aren't you afraid ... Laura: Afraid what? Dr. Katz: I don't know, it's wild, it's a bird. Laura: What's it gonna do? Dr. Katz: That's the part that scares me; we don't know this. Laura: Dr. Katz, I could crush it between my thumb and my forefinger. Dr. Katz: Okay, but just ... I don't wanna look.