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David: The other night, I rented 'Schindler's List.' And I gotta be honest with you - not that funny.
Dr. Katz: Where were you sitting?
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Ben: Hey Dad, you're missing this.
Dr. Katz: (from the bathroom) You're missing this.
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Dr. Katz: I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna go to the bathroom, and when I come back, I'm trusting you not to change the station.
Ben: How long are you gonna be?
Dr. Katz: I'll be back for the next commercial.
Ben: Well take your time. What are you gonna do, one or two?
Dr. Katz: I actually was thinking of doing a combo.
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Ben: Do you know what the average number of hours people watch TV a day is?
Dr. Katz: No, I don't.
Ben: Like three-and-a-half hours a day. And I watch ...
Dr. Katz: How much do you watch?
Ben: I watch considerably more.
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Laura: Did you know that most of those nature shows are actually taped in front of a live audience?
Dr. Katz: No, I didn't.
Laura: They sweeten it up.
Dr. Katz: Ha, that's funny. You're in good form today, Laura.
Laura: Oh, shut up!
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Ben: Do you think TV affects the - influences the way people behave, Dad?
Dr. Katz: Yes, I do.
Ben: What about me? Do you think I'm a product of what I watch?
Dr. Katz: I do. In fact, remember your favorite show when you were a kid? You know which one I'm talking about?
Ben: Which one?
Dr. Katz: I'm a Big Fat Slug.
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Dr. Katz: (on phone) Ben, is that the TV I hear in the background?
Ben: Well Dad, it's on, but that doesn't mean I'm watching it. It's just on for atmosphere.
Dr. Katz: And then when you're not looking at it, what are you looking at?
Ben: My tummy.
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Dr. Katz: What do you mean you're in denial about being in therapy?
Caroline: I just convinced myself that there's a friend that I see once a week, and that I lend him 150 dollars.
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Caroline: Dr. Katz ready?
Laura: Uh, no, he's not.
Caroline: Okay, you having a good day?
Laura: Could you sit over there?
Caroline: You know, bossy pants, maybe this isn't the best job for you -- working with people all the time.
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Dr. Katz: That's my problem with nature is that there's not fair play. I hate to keep coming back to the wildebeest. What does it have on its side? It's edible, you know, that's all it has going for it -- it's really yummy.