Ben: Dad, I know you got, you have your own agenda, I just think it's stupid.
Ben: You know what, though, Dad; what I am sorry about is making fun of your purchase.
Dr. Katz: It's not the making fun of it so much as, um, the mangling of it that really got to me.
Ben: A couple of words about the bike: sucks, um, not good, bad bike, waste of money, looks bad, people laugh at it. I go by, I ride, the engine doesn't kick in.
Dr. Katz: Couple words about the son: not supportive, unkind, peeing on my parade, maybe a little jealous of my bike.
Ben: I'm not jealous, Dad. I was riding it and, what happens is, when the engine kicks in, it goes slower, because it like resists. I was also gonna say Dad, it doesn't do well down sets of stairs. It's not like a mountain bike. Because when you do, the electric part, snaps off.
Dr. Katz: You don't mean that literally it snapped off.
Ben: I mean hypothetically it would ... and literally it did.
Dr. Katz: Do you know how long it took me to get from the elevator to our office (on the bike)?
Laura: How long?
Dr. Katz: Six seconds.
Laura: How long does it usually take you?
Dr. Katz: Eight seconds.
Dr. Katz: I did some arithmetic and I figured out that by riding my bike to work over a period of six months, I would save
more than the cost of that bike on fuel.
Stanley: That's considerable.
Dr. Katz: And, I have to leave about an hour earlier.
Stanley: That's ridiculous.
Dr. Katz: Is that the best way to take a message - with a label maker?
Laura: It's the most fun way.
Ben: How long's it been since you've actually ridden a bike? I mean you're not ...
Dr. Katz: Well that's the beauty of it, you know, it's like riding a bike.
Dr. Katz: It was not a big deal, a birthday, in my family. So that's why I overcompensate on your birthday and ...
Ben: What'd ya get me last year?
Dr. Katz: Shoe laces.
Ben: How much did this baby go for?
Dr. Katz: Not as much as you think.
Ben: 50 bucks.
Dr. Katz: Okay, more than you would think, but it's reasonable.
Ben: A hundred?
Dr. Katz: Add a zero.
Ben: Two hundred?
(opening the bike box)
Ben: Save the staples, 'cause you know I collect 'em.
Dr. Katz: I remember ... along with corks.
Dave: Hey Laura, I don't even know if you remember me.
Laura: Sure I do, Dave Chappelle.
Dave: Oh, you do remember me.
Laura: Yes, I do.
Dave: Oh, so you're just not interested or excited that I'm here.
Laura: Uh, are those my only choices?
Dr. Katz: I always wanted ... even when I was a little boy -- I remember seeing pictures of, I think they were French paratroopers, flying through the sky, with their parachutes and a little aluminum collapsible bike, which is what's in that big box. ... the Germans, when the French were sleeping, they would put baseball cards in the spokes so they could hear the French attacking.
Katz's family didn't believe in Birthdays