Dr. Katz

Dr. Katz: Am I the only one that owns a rotary cellular phone? Have I been ripped-off one more time?

Dr. Katz: Please answer the phone correctly, would you? Laura: Whatever. (hangs up) (Dr. Katz calls back, and Laura answers) Laura: Dr. Katz's office. Dr. Katz: Okay, now you have to work on the ending.

Dom: I can't sleep on airplanes... because nobody will cuddle with me... I mean, this one guy, I said to him, uh, "do you wanna cuddle during the movie?" Nothing, and that hurts, Doc.

Dr. Katz: (reading home-made eye chart) E - V... is that right? Laura: I don't know. Dr. Katz: Come on Laura, you're not helping. Laura: Dr. Katz, you wrote it; you tell me if it's right. Dr. Katz: Well then check my grammar, something.

Dr. Katz: Do you know why I have glasses, Laura? Laura: Why? Dr. Katz: Because I had my eyes tested, at a place, whose only source of income is selling you glasses.

Dr. Katz: Ben, what is so funny about growing old? Ben: Memory loss? Dr. Katz: What else?" Ben: I don't know. The way they walk?

Dr. Katz: Ben, what are you drinking? Ben: Some cocoa. Dr. Katz: It looks awfully thick, Ben. Are you double-bagging it? Ben: I put in three packets.

Dr. Katz: I'm just wondering if you could take this chart and stand on the other side of the room and just hold it, facing me, and test me on this. Can you do that? Laura: Okay, I'll do it, but, it makes me feel kind of dirty.