Dr. Katz

Ben: Hey Dad, take a look at this one (puppy). That's Mr. Pemberton. ... You know what I'm thinking for this puppy: put a bowler hat on him and just take him out for walks all the time. Dr. Katz: Yes, there's something very dignified about him -- the way he carries himself. Ben: Not at all but, I mean, it's just the name. The name is dignified, the puppy is not. Dr. Katz: Yeah, the thing he's doing right now on his back is not so dignified.

Laura: What's that smell? ... It's sort of like something that's trying to be cologne. Dr. Katz: Oh, you know what that is, it's a fragrance for men. Laura: Oh, oh and you're wearing it! I get it. Dr. Katz: What do you think? It takes some getting used to. Laura: Oh, that's a good name for it.

Ben: You know, I don't even know you anymore Dad. You're not the man I married.

Dr. Katz: (about his sleep-over date) You know what she does every morning? She puts a cat to sleep and studies their brains. Before she's had her first cup of coffee, she's killed eight cats.

Ben: Don't you feel responsible to develop a relationship with a woman before you bring her over to the house and have her... Dr. Katz: That's what we did in the cab.

Dr. Katz: We had this incredible chemistry. Everything just clicked: the way she looked at me; the conversation. I felt witty. I felt sexy. I felt... Ben: Those are all disgusting things, Dad.

Dr. Katz: I had a sleep over date, Ben. Ben: Shut up Dad, you did not. Dr. Katz: I did. Here's what happened; I went to the ethical therapist convention and, I thought she was one of them, but apparently, not last night.