Dr. Katz

Ben: Dad, don't throw drugs at the problem, that's not the first thing you should do. Dr. Katz: Well what should I do? Ben: You should throw money at the problem. Dr. Katz: Okay, I will pay you 20 dollars to bring me those pain killers. Ben: That's the right attitude.

Dr. Katz: Ken, you know what the music means, our time is up. Ken: Oh, music means so much to so many people. I think the music means: I'm not cured.

Dr. Katz: You know what else I could use is a hot towel. Ben: You're not giving birth. Dr. Katz: It feels like I am, and I feel like it's twins. Ben: I wish you would. I'd love a brother. I mean, you're in the position. All I'd have to do is lift your legs and maybe something will come out. And I'm not saying it's gonna be a human being.

Ben: I don't think it's a very good idea for you to even dispense therapy while you're on heavy medication. Dr. Katz: That's why I'm gonna take it really easy today. You know, I'm just gonna do the classic 'uh-huh', and maybe once, I'll throw in a 'Did you hear what you just said'?

Ben: If there's an excessive amount of pain he's in, then give me a call immediately. Laura: What are you gonna do? Ben: I'll field that call.

Laura: I'll call all your patients and I'll cancel all the appointments -- I can do that. I do that all the time.

Dr. Katz: The only one who has been at all sympathetic to this pain, is really you. Laura: (not listening) What?

Dr. Katz: You know what's good for a bad back? Ben: What? Dr. Katz: You don't know how to make hash browns, do you?