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Dr. Katz

Lil' Helper

Season 3, Episode 10, Aired Feb 02, 1997

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- Dr. Katz: I threw out my back and I'm in a lot of pain, Ben. I don't know, I don't know what's going on here. Ben: You want me to, uh, push you over or something?
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- Ben: Dad, don't throw drugs at the problem, that's not the first thing you should do. Dr. Katz: Well what should I do? Ben: You should throw money at the problem. Dr. Katz: Okay, I will pay you 20 dollars to bring me those pain killers. Ben: That's the right attitude.
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- Dr. Katz: Ken, you know what the music means, our time is up. Ken: Oh, music means so much to so many people. I think the music means: I'm not cured.
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- Dr. Katz: You know what else I could use is a hot towel. Ben: You're not giving birth. Dr. Katz: It feels like I am, and I feel like it's twins. Ben: I wish you would. I'd love a brother. I mean, you're in the position. All I'd have to do is lift your legs and maybe something will come out. And I'm not saying it's gonna be a human being.
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- Ben: I don't think it's a very good idea for you to even dispense therapy while you're on heavy medication. Dr. Katz: That's why I'm gonna take it really easy today. You know, I'm just gonna do the classic 'uh-huh', and maybe once, I'll throw in a 'Did you hear what you just said'?
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- Ben: If there's an excessive amount of pain he's in, then give me a call immediately. Laura: What are you gonna do? Ben: I'll field that call.
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- Laura: I'll call all your patients and I'll cancel all the appointments -- I can do that. I do that all the time.
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- Dr. Katz: The only one who has been at all sympathetic to this pain, is really you. Laura: (not listening) What?
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- Dr. Katz: You know what's good for a bad back? Ben: What? Dr. Katz: You don't know how to make hash browns, do you?
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- Ben: Maybe I could do it professionally. I mean, not just for you, but for a couple of other people. Dr. Katz: You mean be a professional masseuse? Ben: Or, I mean, I think, you know, maybe one of the, one of the helping professions. Dr. Katz: Some kind of caregiver? Ben: What do you have to do to be in the helping profession? Dr. Katz: Help people. Ben: Forget it. I didn't know that. I thought it was rhetorical.
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