Dr. Katz

Ben's proposed book titles: "What Did We Do to Make Mommy Go So Far Away" "The Sound of My Father's Voice Is Slowly Killing Me" "An Introspective Retrospective of a Perspective Genius" "Thoughts from a Bloated Boy" "Big Ben: American Style" "Daddy Abandoned Me"

(about completing his memoirs) Ben: I don't think I'm gonna be able to do it. I'll still give it a try though. Because you know what? I love the lifestyle. Dr. Katz: Oh, the lifestyle is the best. Ben: Yeah, it's the writing that sucks.

Ben: What does it take to get a book published in this country? Laura: I think you have to write one. Ben: Well yeah, but I'm doing that. I just don't wanna keep going unless I get some sort of deal, you know. Which is the way it goes, in publishing, as far as I know.

(about his memoirs) Ben: The third part, I'm calling the pensive years. It's the last six years of my life, I call the pensive years. You know why? Dr. Katz: Why's that? Ben: I don't know. Dr. Katz: I don't think of them as 'pensive years'. They used to be pensive years, now they're your ex-pensive years.

Ben: You wanna hear the first sentence? It might blow you away. Dr. Katz: Okay. Ben: Here we go, ready? 'The Russian river raged, ripping a serpentine path through the ragged ridge.' Dr. Katz: I love it. Ben: I'm not done yet, 'Hi, I'm Ben Katz.'

Dr. Katz: You have an older brother. Louis: Right. Dr. Katz: Was his name ... I wanna say Allen. Louis: No, his name was Allen.

Ben: You know, there might be some things you read in the book that you'll be disturbed with, like the part about our lives and relationship. The break-up in Paris: remember that? When we lived in Paris, lived in the park, remember? In the jardin. Laura: In the what? Ben: The Jardin De Luxembourg in Paris, remember. Remember I turned to you on the park bench and I said, 'life is not sweet.' We were poor, but we were happy. Why'd you leave me?

Ben: (on his writing process) It's not ad-libbing here; I'm a writer. I need to think first. It doesn't pop into my head. I need to sit down, fall asleep, and get back up, and then ... you know, snack, then write.

Ben: I know you're gonna start asking me like, 'Hey, Ben, what's going on? Why you so down? Why you so depressed?' Laura: No, I wasn't going to.

Ben: I have to start committing things to permanence, or else when I'm gone, who will be able to know what I was like. Dr. Katz: Oh, I could tell 'em. Ben: When am I going? Dr. Katz: I packed your bags, Ben.

Dr. Katz: But Ben, don't you think that before you write your memoirs, you should go out and have a couple more of those things that are ... live a little.

Julie: I have noticed that sometimes, even with me, you guys speak in code. Maybe you get a little uncomfortable? Dr. Katz: No, just to protect you, in a certain way, also from the ... Julie: From what? Dr. Katz: Because you're a more genteel creature than we are. Julie: How do you know that? Dr. Katz: The way you throw.