Dr. Katz

Ben: I think I was born to, uh, to not own a business. Dr. Katz: Well in that case, you're doing great.

Richard: (relaying a news story) 'A Milwaukee woman has Krazy Glued her husband's butt cheeks together while he was sleeping.' ... I always wondered if they stayed together -- the couple, I mean.

Laura: (answering phone) Dr. Katz's office. Ben: Is not. Laura: Is. Ben: No, is not, Laura. I mean, I know you're not, I know I'm not paying your salary, but the least you could do is answer the phone ... (cut off by Laura) (continued) Ben: There's a weird smell in the car, and um, I think it's me.

Ben: You know, we broke up, and I haven't spoken to her since. Hard to believe that was 18 years ago, huh. But I bet she'd be surprised to hear that I'm running my own company now. Laura: Wow, that's really fascinating. Ben: You know, there's a lot you don't know about me. Laura: I like that about you.

Ben: (to Laura) I was wondering if you could maybe just say 'Pick Ups' when you answer the phone and not play up the whole doctor thing; unless it sounds like a really troubled person.

Ben: I gotta get myself orgasmacized. Laura: Okay, that's the kind of thing you don't say.

(Ben is setting up shop in Dr. Katz's office) Dr. Katz: And Ben, what's important, most of all, is that my business runs smoothly, without any interference from you. Ben: Dad, that's your problem. Dr. Katz: Well it could become your problem very quickly, young man. Ben: I don't like that tone of voice with me.

Ben: I'm happy to give you a ride. I mean: 1. it's my job and 2. it's on my way anyway. Dr. Katz: To? Ben: To your office. Dr. Katz: Where ... Ben: Where I'm going. Dr. Katz: To ... Ben: To do my day's work. Dr. Katz: Which is? Ben: I can't keep talking like this Dad; it's like you had a stroke.

Dr. Katz: Hold on one second, Ben, let me play the Devil's advocate here, just for one minute. Ben: No Dad, don't, okay please, I don't like the Devil's advocate thing; you're too good at it. Dr. Katz: What about 'Duck Duck Goose'? Ben: Okay, you got a deal.