Dr. Katz

Season 3 Episode 1

Monte Carlo

Aired Sunday 10:00 PM Oct 06, 1996 on Comedy Central



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Ben: Did you ever just get nervous when you're, in your line of work? I mean, that you're not doing a good job.
      Dr. Katz: Oh absolutely, every day I feel that way. Every day I ask myself "Am I a good therapist?" And I've learned to stop asking out loud.

    • Ben: I think I was born to, uh, to not own a business.
      Dr. Katz: Well in that case, you're doing great.

    • Richard: (relaying a news story) 'A Milwaukee woman has Krazy Glued her husband's butt cheeks together while he was sleeping.' ... I always wondered if they stayed together -- the couple, I mean.

    • Laura: (answering phone) Dr. Katz's office.
      Ben: Is not.
      Laura: Is.
      Ben: No, is not, Laura. I mean, I know you're not, I know I'm not paying your salary, but the least you could do is answer the phone ... (cut off by Laura)
      Ben: There's a weird smell in the car, and um, I think it's me.

    • Ben: You know, we broke up, and I haven't spoken to her since. Hard to believe that was 18 years ago, huh. But I bet she'd be surprised to hear that I'm running my own company now.
      Laura: Wow, that's really fascinating.
      Ben: You know, there's a lot you don't know about me.
      Laura: I like that about you.

    • Ben: (to Laura) I was wondering if you could maybe just say 'Pick Ups' when you answer the phone and not play up the whole doctor thing; unless it sounds like a really troubled person.

    • Ben: I gotta get myself orgasmacized.
      Laura: Okay, that's the kind of thing you don't say.

    • (Ben is setting up shop in Dr. Katz's office)
      Dr. Katz: And Ben, what's important, most of all, is that my business runs smoothly, without any interference from you.
      Ben: Dad, that's your problem.
      Dr. Katz: Well it could become your problem very quickly, young man.
      Ben: I don't like that tone of voice with me.

    • Ben: I'm happy to give you a ride. I mean: 1. it's my job and 2. it's on my way anyway.
      Dr. Katz: To?
      Ben: To your office.
      Dr. Katz: Where ...
      Ben: Where I'm going.
      Dr. Katz: To ...
      Ben: To do my day's work.
      Dr. Katz: Which is?
      Ben: I can't keep talking like this Dad; it's like you had a stroke.

    • Dr. Katz: Hold on one second, Ben, let me play the Devil's advocate here, just for one minute.
      Ben: No Dad, don't, okay please, I don't like the Devil's advocate thing; you're too good at it.
      Dr. Katz: What about 'Duck Duck Goose'?
      Ben: Okay, you got a deal.

    • Dr. Katz: Ben, unless I'm missing something, you're gonna need a car. Am I right?
      Ben: Got one. Rented one. It's a Monte Carlo -- like the Count.
      Dr. Katz: That's 'Cristo'.
      Ben: Like the oil?
      Dr. Katz: No, that's 'Crisco'.

  • Notes

  • Allusions