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    • (pitching a movie idea to Dr. Katz) Ben: It's the story about a father and son. And, the father ... Dr. Katz: So far, so good. Ben: the father in this movie constantly squishes the son's dreams. And, the father is a bad person; he's bald ... and bad. It's called 'Endless Yapper,' and it stars you.
    • (after spotting Laura enter the theatre with a date) Ben: You know, if she is on a date, I think we should go over and ruin it. I mean, I think it's our responsibility to make sure that relationship doesn't happen. Dr. Katz: I think she can handle that.
    • (on the phone) Ben: So, are you gonna see this guy again? Or are you gonna ... I mean, is this gonna be a regular thing? Laura: None of your business. Ben: Right right, I know, but I mean, are you?
    • (on the phone) Ben: I just wanted to know how your date went. Laura: None of your business. Ben: Hey it's cool Baby. You know, I date a lot. I was there on a date myself, actually. Laura: With who, your father? Ben: Yes.
    • Sam: I am like one bad, I'm one bad relationship ... don't interrupt me, okay, this isn't about you, it's about me, I have problems, okay -- I am one bad relationship away from being with a man! Okay, you're gonna see me in a gay pride parade: 'I'm here, I'm not queer, but at least somebody pays attention to me so get over it alright.'
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