Prince Charming: Whoa, whoa, whoa. This was not part of the deal! Look at my penis! What happened to my goddamn penis? I cannot live like this... this is not charming.

Clara: Look, our genitalia are totally hitting it off.

Clara: It was like a giant weight was lifted off my vagina.

Foxxy: And that's how two people who love each other very very much make a welfare check... I mean baby.

Spanky: We had to be very, very quiet. The tiniest of noises could of awoken the beast, even I had to limit myself to silent but deadlies. (farts quietly and snickers silently)

Foxxy: Now, when a man and woman love each other very much, they do a special hug which can feel real nice depending on the size of the man's hands wrapped consentually around the woman's neck.

Toot: Dammit, Clara's pissing me off more than fat-free sour cream!

Foxxy: (in confession room) Princess didn't know a damn thing about sex. How does she get guys to pay her rent?

Captain Hero: Toot made us all realize that we may not be along much longer. I felt a important to start writing down my innermost thoughts in a journal. Here's an excerpt: "I don't know how much longer I can last at here. Papa says that when I get out, I can have a new dress. When will I have my first dance, my first kiss?"
Spanky: What are you doing?
Captain Hero: These are my dreams! Mine!

Ling-Ling: I'm not your maid, clean your own dirty dishes.

Clara: Oh my God, I'm pregnant!
Ling-Ling: Oh my God, the sink's full of dirty dishes again.

Prince Charming: (after firing off a gun) I just wanted to see if this thing worked, before I blew my charming brains out!

Spanky: I, for one, refuse to just sit around waiting to be swallowed whole by a giant vagina! (thinks for a minute) Huh? No, no, no, okay, no.

Ling-Ling: (yells about the dishes)
Captain Hero: Ling-Ling's right! We must kill the beast.
Captain Hero, Toot, & Xandir: Kill the beast!
Spanky: Misinterpret Ling-Ling!

Spanky Ham: Not on the new rug!

Clara: You guys can't tell anybody about my secret, and I'm afraid I'll need you to keep your silence with a pinky swear.
Foxxy: I pinky swear.
(they look at Toot)
Toot: Ugh! Fine, I swear too.
Octopussoir: I pinky swear.
Captain Hero: (knocks on door) Clara, Toot told us that you have a monster for a vagina and we want to have a meeting about it.
Clara: How is that even possible? (stares at Toot)
Toot: Oopsey-Tootsey. I just couldn't help myself.

Captain Hero: Now, I normally don't listen to women, or my doctor, but Clara's story gave me a special feeling deep down in my lumpy, lumpy testicle.

Clara: They all hate me, Foxxy. It's like I've turned into some kind of freak.
Foxxy: Oh, come on, now. These things usually have a way of working themselves out, just like the time everyone found out you had a monster vagina between your legs.
Spanky: Clara, this isn't easy to say, especially to a friend, but we've come to kill your vagina.