"So God killed everyone, the good guys, the bad guys and even Steve from Long Island, but not me and i know why. With everyone gone I can finally enjoy masturbating the way he intended, by myself."
- Wooldoor Sockbat, Clum Babies
"What a nightmare. One minute I was celebrating with my friends lika a drunken pro-athlete, the next I was crying and runing for my life, like the wife of the drunken pro-athlete."
- Wooldoor Sockbat, Wooldoor Sockbat's Giggle-Wiggle Funny Tickle Non-Traditional Progressive Multicultural Roundtable
"And remember kids, never mess with the emotions of a dangerous lunatic."
- Captain Hero
"Nothing reminds me of my first time like a chick crying."
- Spanky Ham
"I missed you more than a retard misses the point."
- Unusually Flexible Girl
"Hate the game baby, not the playa."