Henry: I don't do telethons on principle. I don't agree with financing kidney units by filming gullible viewers on unicycles with their underpants over their heads.
Alex: Nice bank holiday weekend, then? Dave: Ah, put my feet up, listened to the radio, read a couple of books. Damien: Sounds nice. Dave: Yeah, it would have been... if I hadn't been sitting on the M25.
Damien: Have you seen this? I'm splashed all over the bloody Standard. They've done a hatchet job on me. They go on about how I've exploited grief, deliberately staged news stories. God, I've half a mind to sue them for libel. Gus: Why don't you? Damien: Cause it's all true.
Damien has met a vicar who has some ideas for new television shows. Saviour of The Century is a variation of game show Sale of The Century; Good News at Ten refers to the ITV evening news and Halo, Halo sounds like a Christian version of the classic BBC comedy Allo, allo.
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