A Civil War

Season 1, Episode 7, Aired

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Duckman is jealous when everyone showers Cornfed with their attention, so he fires him while working their next case, which involves the "murder" of the owner of a Steak and Waffle on a Stick factory.
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    • QUOTES (6)

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      • Bob: Your job is just to sort the mail. If you can hold on to it. Cornfed: Got any napkins? Bob: NAPKINS! That's brilliant. Bob: I didn't count on an undercover pig being on me like pee on a bum's shoes.

      • Cornfed: Could I use the restroom first? Bob: Sure you can't miss it. Make a right at the cow bone grinding and marrow extraction room, a quick left at the chicken squeezing ovum cracking pit & then a sharp circle round the gobstopper & gizzard suction chamber. Cornfed: I'll hold it in.

      • Duckman: Sorry, I didn't hear you, I was staring at your breasts.

      • Cornfed: I was once kidnapped by a cabal of kick-boxing Ninja who forced me nightly to play a deadly game of steel cage basketball where the losers where beheaded. Duckman: Yea... well... I bet there wasn't a shot clock.

      • Cornfed: Any ex-wandering troubadour slash hostage negotiator could've done it.

      • Duckman: Thin-skinned no-humor pansies! You tell them an ice breaker or two about women-liberals, gays, environmentalists, several minorities, the homeless, a couple of religions, anorexics, obese people, the handicapped, old-farts, baldness & people who walk real goofy cause they just had a vasectomy and suddenly they get all sensitive! Like I offended one of them or something?

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