Due South

Benton Fraser: I'm sure if the situation were reversed, you'd do exactly the same for me. Ray Vecchio: Not in a million years.

Wanda: We're on to you, Miss. Tiffany: Totally. Wanda: We see the way you're always opening doors for women. Tiffany: And the way you're like incredibly tall. Wanda: And polite. Tiffany: Totally. And we hear the way you talk. Wanda: For sure. You know you can't fool us. We should have known it right from the start. Tiffany: You're... a Canadian. Benton Fraser: Oh. Do you think we could keep this between us?

Vecchio: You know, Benny, you weren't a bad-looking woman. Fraser: Thank you, Ray. Vecchio: Course, you weren't exactly my type either. Fraser: Well, what exactly is your type, Ray? Vecchio: I like a woman who is kind and honest with a good sense of humor. Fraser: What? And I don't have those qualities? Vecchio: No, no, you do, I just like a woman who is, you know, a woman. Fraser: That's, that's picky Ray.

Benton Fraser: (Dressed as a woman and insisting Ray open doors for him.) Ray, manners. Ray Vecchio: You know, Benny, there's a limit. Benton Fraser: A limit? To good etiquette? I think not, Ray. Ray Vecchio: Just get in the car before I beat you with your purse.

Fraser: Let me tell you something, Ray, I think that the person who invented pantyhose should be brought up on charges of cruelty, sadism and reckless endangerment. They pinch in the most inappropriate places. Vecchio: Yeah, well most people who wear them don't have those places, Benny.

Benton Fraser: (To Melissa.) It takes seven fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown. Save your energy, you're going to need it in your child bearing years.

Ray Vecchio: Frank Nitti, Eliot Ness ... what is this, the garage sale of the Untouchables?

Benton Fraser: (To Melissa, in character as a woman.) Trust me, I have a profound insight to the workings of a young man's mind.

Ray Vecchio: So what you doing after work? Benton Fraser: Nothing with you. Ray Vecchio: (Laughs.) You're so sensitive.

Benton Fraser: (In character as a woman.) Whoa, you wouldn't hit a woman would you.

Benton Fraser: The girls aren't alone. Ray Vecchio: The Doppler effect? Benton Fraser: No, tracks size twelve running shoes.

Margaret Thatcher: (To Fraser.) I've seen you track a snowflake back to the cloud it came from, how hard can it be to find a bottle of whiskey!

Ray Vecchio: That's his nickname, the Whiskey King of the Windy City, ask anybody. Benton Fraser: Excuse me, what's the bartender's name? Bar Patron: Murph.