Eastwick

Darryl: This is what I'm talking about. Sharing our feelings, food fights, tickle fights. I just love celebrating with you ladies! Roxie: Tickle fights? Darryl: Drink some more wine.

(after Kat stands up for Joanna) Will: You're a good friend. Kat: And you're acting like a moron! Smarten up and be nice to Joanna.

Elise Dunn: The day I take etiquette lessons from you is the day we're all roasting in hell, Roxie Torcoletti! Running around with a boy young enough to date your daughter?

Roxie: Excuse me, young lady?! Mia: You are not allowed to 'young lady' me. For fifteen years, you've been trying to be my pal. You can't just turn around and be my mom. Roxie: I will 'young lady' you all I want, young lady! And believe me, I am your mom. I have the stretch marks to prove it.

Chad: (to Roxie) Hey, I thought we could go to your place for slunch, which is my new word for sex plus lunch.

Darryl: Oh, that breaks my heart. I hate seeing pretty people eat alone. Kat: I'm along on purpose, Darryl. It's on my bucket list. Darryl: Bucket list. Isn't that for those who are about to die? Kat: This bucket list is for those who are about to rock!

Darryl: This is not a bucket list. This is a suck-it list. Look, whatever happened to 'go to a nude beach' or 'leap out of an airplane' or 'make love to a wealthy industrialist.' Kat: You mean you? Darryl: Or any wealthy industrialist.

Joanna: Penny, we're in a crisis. I've got my back against the wall. There's only one thing to do. Penny: What's that? Joanna: We need to party.

(Josh has lipstick on his face as he introduces himself to Roxie inside a jail cell) Josh: I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. I've been trying to get Chad to have you over for dinner. Roxie: (to Chad) Younger brother? Josh: And a friend of Mia's. Roxie: Yeah, I can see her friendship smeared all over your face.

(the morning after Penny and Joanna kissed) Penny: Hey, Joanna! About last night... Joanna: We must have lost our minds. Penny: Right? I mean, maybe we were rufied. I think I was. Did you rufie me? Joanna: What? Penny: It doesn't matter. For the record, I like guys. In fact, there's one guy that I'm like really kind of into and he has a penis!

Mia: I like Josh... a lot. I mean, he's cute and sweet and he's really nice to me. You know, he cracks me up all the time and he laughs at my jokes too. But after everything I said in front of him last night, I don't think he's ever gonna want to talk to me again. Roxie: I don't think it's hopeless. Mia: Really? Roxie: I know my Burton boys. They're prideful, but they're pussycats. We'll figure something out. Hand me your cellphone. Mia: Why? Roxie: Because we're going to compose a beautiful sincere apology text. Mia: You think it'll going to work? Roxie: It's a start. We get you two patched up and maybe we could double date. Mia: Ugh. Barf. Roxie: I kid.