Eastwick Season 1 Episode 7

Joanna: Tell me what's going on or I will let the entire office know about the time that you got arrested for chasing that guy you thought was Keanu Reeves into the airport bathroom.
Penny: Ohh, you're worse than the interrogators at Guantanamo Bay.

Eleanor: You're like me.
Kat: What do you mean?
Eleanor: Well-- well, think of it like dogs, you know? They look different but a majestic Afghan can still recognize that a little old Shih Tzu is also a dog. Well... you're a Shih Tzu and I recognize you.
Kat: So you've got--
Eleanor: The gift? Yes! I'm a dog too, just like you. (growls and barks)

Joanna: No, Penny. Getting kidnapped and almost being burned to death was the best thing that ever happened to me, okay? Like things are more vibrant and-- and-- and bright! Food tastes better. Smells smell smellier. I feel alive, like awakened, you know, to my true potential.
Penny: Okay, so are you going to bend spoons and dodge bullets like Neo in The Matrix.

Roxie: What the hell are you doing?
Darryl: Fire-walking.
Roxie: Of course, you are.
Darryl: Care to join me?
Roxie: Ah, no thanks. I need the bottom of my feet.

Darryl: Your curse, Roxie, is that you are extraordinary. People will fear you. People will hate you. You don't fit in and you never will, so toughen up. Develop a thicker skin and you may come to see that this curse of yours is truly your greatest gift.

Darryl: Let those with courage come forward and face me. And let those too afraid run from the very sight of me.

Joanna: I was trying to recreate an experience that I had. That is all.
Max: What kind of experience?
Joanna: It was an intense experience.
Max: Ooh!
Joanna: I was able to do something that I've never been able to do before. And I would like to be able to do it again.
Max: Multiple orgasm?

(after they almost fell off a Ferris wheel)
Max: I feel bad for you, lady, that you've got this-- this death wish. But that doesn't give you the right to trap someone in-- into riding shotgun with you in this sick old suicide mission. Uncool!
Joanna: That was not a suicide mission.
Max: You say tomato, I say suicide mission.

Max: Don't skip the negative. You can't have critical thought without it. And where would we be without critical thought?
Joanna: Floating on a rainbow cloud full of marshmallow bunnies?

Eleanor: He's back, you know.
Bun: What are we going to do about Darryl Van Horne?
Eleanor: I think we're going to have to kill him again.