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Mark: Just because I lost 96 pounds doesn't exactly make me Spiderman.
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Shirley: Eggs don't come from the ass, per se.
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Warren (to Peter): Just out of curiosity, is it that you can't paint a painting that looks like anything or is it that you just don't want to?
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Carol (to Frankie): Once you do one of Ed's stupid things, you're officially one of the gang.
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Frankie: A tear is welling up in my left eye, Leon. In about 3 seconds, it's gonna blow.
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Mike (about outliving Ed): I don't know what I'm going to do those last 2 years without you.
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Ed: I've only got 50 years left to live.
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Molly: Like a guy named Leon could possibly hold onto a woman.
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Nancy (after seeing Mike's art): What'd it take you, like 6 minutes?
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Ed: Me, I'm a blip. I'm a blip, say hello, blip.
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Phil: I'm not smoking, this is just for effect.
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Warren: God I wish I was a wunderkind! If I could get the arts and leisure section of the New York Times to label me a wunderkind.
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Warren (to Stella): Why don't you just go out with a paint brush, or sleep with an easel maybe?
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Warren (to Stella): Warren... Cheswick... we almost did it that time... You offered to shine your love upon me...
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Warren: I'm a red blooded 18 year old American male. You can't just offer an American male a chance to fornicate and then just turn him down.