Ed

Phil (to Ed when he offers him 5% of the shoe rental profits): You're tickling my chain!

Mike (watching Willie dance with Carol, Nancy, and Molly): And he's ruining the illusion I've created for Nancy, that I'm the most exciting human being on the planet.

Warren (upon seeing that Jessica might think he`s a little weird for loving "Walden"): This is just a big wakeup call! I mean, whatever, I only read the first three chapters, so the rest might suck.

Warren: Time is but the stream I go a-fishin' in.

Mike (to Ed): Medically speaking, you have a brain the size of a marble.

Mike: Ed, Lewis and Clark had a journal. You, my friend, have a diary.

Ed: This is a whole new brand of weirdness.