Ed

Diane (to Mark): I'm not dating a fat kid. I'm dating you.

Ed (to Carol): You wind up with guys like Troy and Nick and Dennis because you don't think you deserve anything else.

Eli: You ain't Shirley no more, you're Street Shirley.

Molly: It wasn't long ago you were calling Dennis 'Principal Jackass'.

Warren: Right up until you nailed that hot DA a couple years ago, I thought you were as gay as a French horn.

Warren: My rap is that I have no rap. My name's Cheswick.

Ed: Engaged? To Dennis Martino? That's hilarious!

Ed: I kissed her, right? Plant the ole seeds of doubt? She fought it all summer and now she can't fight no mo.