Ed Season 4 Episode 2

Warren (on his and Carol's history): We just... POW... you know, it was just this intense attraction that wouldn't, nay couldn't, be denied.

Carol: I recognize the full irony in what I'm about to say, but do you think there's any way I can interest you in screwing the top back on the toothpaste?

Mr. Mazula (about Ed's passion for life): You can see it in his eyes. "Rules? What rules?" That's what he's thinking right there.

Nancy (when Mike tries on a knight suit): Now you look like a big, stupid Jiffy Pop.

Mr. Manzula (about Ed's desire for a road test): I says "Buddy, that don't mean plop. You ain't got enough wheel time under your belt and you parallel park like a woman."

Phil (pretending to be a VIP on camera): Excuse me, I have to take this. Matter of national security.

Mike (about Ed and his relationship with Carol): I thought he was being an idiot, but of course, I couldn't come right out and say that... actually, I could come right out and say that.

Ed (about the rennovated Stuckeybowl): Now she's a real slice of heaven.

Mike: Look at the 98 percent of the milk I got right.