Ed

Nancy: I think that Sarah likes the nanny more than she likes me. Mike: Well hell, honey, I like the nanny more than I like you. She's kinda hot.

Ed: Without the world of possibility, what do we have left?

Stuckeyville Stan: In the old days, we would have settled things like this with a baseball bat and a sock full of quarters.

Phil (to Ed, explaining why he goes by "Jean Tremont" to the salt-and-pepper shaker sales reps): The French thing gives me a business edge. It keeps 'em confused.

Ed: I came up with a theory on women. Women are just fancy men. You know what I mean? Start with a man, add a bunch of interesting bells and whistles, and you've got a woman.