Ellen
ABC (ended 1998)
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Season 5
- Ep 22Vows7/22/98
When Ellen's parents renew their vows, it prompts Ellen to think about taking her relationship with Laurie to the next level: marriage. - Ep 21When Ellen Talks, People Listen7/15/98
Ellen tries to encourage her radio audience to be nicer, but instead they become more hostile. - Ep 20Ellen: A Hollywood Tribute (2)5/13/98
A parody of the career of Ellen DeGeneres, celebrating her 75 years in show business. - Ep 19Ellen: A Hollywood Tribute (1)5/13/98
A parody of the career of Ellen DeGeneres, celebrating her 75 years in show business. - Ep 18Hospital3/4/98
Ellen rushes to the hospital after discovering that Laurie has been in a car accident. While waiting for news on Laurie's condition, Ellen meets a woman in the waiting room, whom she discovers is Laurie's ex-girlfriend and that Holly is her child. Ellen and Karen then share stories about Laurie, until the doctor asks to see immediate family. Karen claims she is Laurie's sister, Leah, but the real Leah shows up and tells Karen to disappear. Karen tells Ellen that she was jealous that Ellen had more going with Laurie in five months than Laurie and Karen did in eleven years. Ellen's mother shows up with Holly and Karen leaves.moreless - Ep 17It's A Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay World!2/25/98
After Spence sniffs a heavy dose of insecticide, he awakens in a world where being gay is normal, Joe is in love with him, and Paige has a buzz cut and tattoos. - Ep 16Neighbors2/18/98
Ellen tries to make friends with her neighbors, but they keep catching her in strange coincidences. After all, why would Ellen and Paige be playing Twister on the roof? - Ep 15Ellen In Focus2/11/98
Ellen and Joe join a focus group at the request of Paige, so that her new cop show will receive high marks and need minimal changes before airtime. - Ep 14Escape From L.A.1/28/98
Ellen and Laurie take their first trip together, to San Diego. However, a problem arises when Ellen wants to party and Laurie wants to stick to her plan. - Ep 13The Funeral1/14/98
When Laurie's father dies suddenly, Ellen must help her make peace with the family that shut her out when she revealed she is a lesbian. - Ep 12Womyn Fest1/7/98
Ellen takes Paige and Audrey to a female only concert in Berkeley to have a good time after her break up with Laurie. Meanwhile, Paige ponders commitment with Spence. - Ep 11Break Up12/17/97
Ellen and Laurie hit a crossroads on their one-month anniversary after Laurie misinterprets Ellen's offer to move in. - Ep 10All Ellen, All The Time12/3/97
Ellen gets a job at a small, all-talk radio station, but when the Sports Chat host leaves in a huff, she's left to fill the void armed with only her personal charm and irrevocable wit. - Ep 9Like A Virgin11/26/97
Laurie has prepared for a big romantic evening with flowers, fine wine and a homemade dinner, but she still needs Ellen to stick around for it. - Ep 8Emma11/19/97
Thanks to Paige, Ellen lands a job as personal assistant to Emma Thompson and discovers that, not only is Thompson gay, but her past contains a truly sordid secret. - Ep 7Public Display Of Affection11/12/97
Ellen faces her toughest challenge yet in a relationship: winning the approval of her new girlfriend's 12-year-old daughter. - Ep 6G.I. Ellen11/5/97
It's all guts and no glory as Ellen accompanies her father to his annual Civil War reenactment but while she endures boot camp with the sadistic Sergeant Timko, Harold seems a little too anxious to have his wounds tended by Betsy, a field nurse. - Ep 5Just Coffee10/29/97
Ellen goes on a date with her mortgage broker, but starts to think she's the only one looking for romance. - Ep 4Gay Yellow Pages10/15/97
Ellen feels pressured to support gay-owned businesses, but a gay plumber nearly sends her housewarming party down the drain. - Ep 3Roommates10/8/97
Ellen's new neighbors offer to introduce her to a friend who is looking for a "roommate," which according to Audrey and Barrett is code for "girlfriend," but they may be hitting a language barrier. Meanwhile, Paige struggles with her mixed emotions about Ellen's lesbianism. - Ep 2Social Climber10/1/97
Ellen fakes athletic prowess to impress Lisa, her very attractive "spinning" instructor, but on a mountain-climbing trip - with Spence in tow - she learns that honesty may have been more effective, and less life threatening. - Ep 1Guys Or Dolls9/24/97
While on a double date with Spence, Paige and a dimwitted lesbian, Ellen runs into former boyfriend Dan. He is taken aback by her personal revelation but accepts it. But Ellen doesn't know what to do when she still finds herself attracted to him.
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Season 4
- Ep 25Moving On5/14/97
Ed asks Ellen to babysit his daughters, which she says would be fine. Audrey creates a sisterhood corner. Ed sees this, and asks her to take it down, as he feels it may attract the "sort" of people that he doesn't want attracted to a family store. Ellen is disturbed by this, and asks him about it.moreless - Ep 24Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah5/7/97
Ellen and her parents go to their favorite Chinese restaurant. Ellen plans out exactly how the whole evening will go. But her plans go haywire when her parents don't react well to the Ellen's news that she is gay. Lois thinks that she just hasn't met the right man yet, but it isn't a reason to decide she's gay. Harold goes bolistic, and can't handle that his daughter could be gay, and walks out of the restaurant. Ellen catches up with him later, hoping that her dad will understand that she has to do what is her. But he just can't accept it, and would rather ignore the whole issue all together. Lois takes it a little better, and after Ellen convinces her, goes to a support group and discusses how she feels about the matter. Then another member of the group starts to yell at Ellen, and about her being wrong and hurting people. But no matter whether Lois likes it or not, she is not going to let some man talk to her daughter like that. Then Harold comes in and tells the man that he better not talk like that to his daughter, and saves the day.moreless - Ep 23The Puppy Episode (2)4/30/97
Ellen invites her friends over so that she can tell them that she is gay. But she decides she can't do it, and Peter, whom Ellen told the news to before everyone arrived, opens his big mouth and blurts out, "Oh for goodness sakes Ellen, tell them you're gay!" So Ellen has no choice, and tells them. She tells them that she made up the whole thing with Richard, that nothing at all happened with Richard, and that Susan is who she really likes. Everyone seems fine with it, except Paige. The next day at the bookstore, Susan comes in. Ellen finds out that Susan is in a committed 8 year relationship, and Ellen becomes sad and confused. But she hugs her goodbye, and Susan tells her that she is amazing. Later, everyone goes to Little Frieda's, a local lesbian coffee house.moreless - Ep 22The Puppy Episode (1)4/30/97
Richard, an old friend comes to visit Ellen. He also brings his assistant, Susan. Ellen and Susan hit it off very well. After Richard tells Ellen he thinks they'd be great as something more, Ellen leaves, and goes to talk with Susan. Susan tells Ellen that she is gay, and that she thought Ellen was too. Ellen becomes very offended and caught very off guard, so she leaves and goes back to Richard's room, to prove that she is not gay.moreless - Ep 21The Clip Show Patient4/8/97
Ellen decides to volunteer her time at a nearby hospital. She tries to comfort an English patient. Ellen asks what happened to him, so the English patient begins to tell the story of how he came to be in the state that he is in. But Ellen keeps interrupting him when she is reminded of things that happened to her. The English patient is so annoyed with her that he tries to fake being dead. Just when he thinks he is free of her, he finds that she just couldn't come that day, so she has sent Audrey to comfort him for the day.moreless - Ep 20Reversal Of Misfortune3/4/97
Ellen is getting ready for a little celebration of her parents signing the divorce papers and turning them in. But she finds out they haven't turned them in yet. So, Ellen drives them back to their house to pick up the papers, and to take them straight down to be finalized. While in the car, Harold and Lois begin arguing over what station to put the radio on, so Ellen picks a talk radio station. A caller calls and talks about her parents getting divorced. Ellen calls the station and begins saying how stupid the caller was, not being able to accept her parents divorce. Then, in an elevator, Harold and Lois begin arguing again. Ellen tells them to stop and Harold and Lois begin saying that Ellen has been pushing them into it, and all they really want is each other.moreless - Ep 19Secrets & Ellen2/26/97
Ellen's hard-to-please grandma comes to visit. Lois tells Grammy of her daughter's boyfriendJoe. Ellen is forced to play girlfriend/boyfriend with Joe. But Ellen decides to tell the truth and come clean. So, at dinner, she tells Grammy that she was never with Joe, and that she hates doilies. Grammy is disgusted to find out that the whole family has been lying to her. Meanwhile, Paige takes Spence with her to Las Vegas, where they plan on having some fun, but Spence gets amnesia.moreless - Ep 18Hello, Dalai2/19/97
Ellen and Peter go to a spiritual retreat. In one of the exercises, Peter tells Ellen that he doesn't think she's happy. Ellen gets offended by this and insists that she is very happy. During a "roll around on the floor and asks questions about yourself that you can't answer yourself" exercise, Ellen asks everyone if they think she is happy. Later, Peter apologizes to Ellen for hurting her feelings. Then they have to walk across hot coals, and Ellen gets the courage to do so when she learns it's okay to be unhappy and that she's just like everybody else. Meanwhile, Buy The Book is robbed and Audrey, Joe, Spence, and Paige have to talk to each other.moreless - Ep 17Ellen's Deaf Comedy Jam2/12/97
Audrey likes Brian, a deaf actor playing Romeo in "Romeo and Juliet." Peter takes Ellen and Audrey to meet him. While Peter is showing Audrey around, Ellen thinks ? makes a pass at her. Ellen confronts Audrey about it, and Audrey decides not to talkk to Ellen anymore. At the play, Peter's interpreter partner doesn't show, so Ellen fills in, creating a disaster when she knocks over all the lines. Afterward, Ellen finds out that Brian didn't make a pass at her at all, and that he was just complimenting her on her blouse. Audrey is delighted and she goes with Brian for coffee.moreless - Ep 16Ellen Unplugged2/5/97
The whole gang treats Ellen to Rock And Roll Dream Camp. Ellen decides to leave after she chokes while singing with Bonnie Raitt. But Paige tells Ellen that she is always afraid, and that since she is older, she needs to be bolder. This leads Ellen to write "I'm Scared of Bein' Afraid," which she sings on the last day of camp with Bonnie Raitt, Aaron Neville, and David Crosby, along with the rest or her band, "Everything And The Girl."moreless - Ep 15Makin' Whoopie1/22/97
Ellen donates blood, then goes to a wine tasting party being given by Spence's superior, Dr. Hidassi, with whom Spence wants to impress and hopes to get a promotion. Ellen gets so tipsy that she disturbs the whole party, including singing "Makin' Whoopie" on top of the Dr. Hidassi's piano. The next day, Ellen goes to apologize, but Dr. Hidassi had taken the night before completely wrong, and tries to make a pass at Ellen.moreless - Ep 14Joe's Kept Secret1/15/97
Ellen decides to add a nook to her new home. But she has to get a permit from city hall. Joe asks his "lady friend" to help out. Ellen, so grateful, takes Madeline and Joe out to dinner, where she finds out that they are lovers. Joe invites the whole gang to his house for dinner, where Ellen tells Joe that he is a "kept man." Joe breaks up with Madeline, but then Ellen's permit is revoked. So, Ellen becomes chummy with Madeline and gets the permit back. Recognizing she has become a "kept woman," she confronts Madeline on the matter. Again, her license is revoked and she is left with a big whole in her wall.moreless - Ep 13Alone Again... Naturally1/8/97
Ellen makes a New Year's resolution - to start doing things alone, and feel comfortable with it. She decides to go to a very exclusive romantic Italian restaurant. There, she becomes a spectacle, so she escapes to the bathroom. She feels much more comfortable in the bathroom talking to Ruby, the bathroom assistant. Then she takes a pottery class, alone. She ends up replaying a scene from "Ghost" while singing "Unchained Melody." She goes back to talk with Ruby, and brings her the tip jar she made. Ellen realizes she is comfortable just the way she is. Meanwhile, Paige s trying to talk to Bob Saget, who has gone over budget on his latest film. So, Spence and Joe house-sit for Paige, but set the whole kitchen on fire.moreless - Ep 12Fleas Navidad12/18/96
Ellen adopts an abandoned dog. However, no one can take care of it while she and Paige go to Mexico for a week. So, they decide to drop it off at a shelter on their way, but Ellen gets a bad feeling about the shelter. She tells Paige to go on ahead, and she will meet her the next day. But she finds herself taking care of the dog. Ellen sends Joe in her place, which Paige can't stand. Ellen takes a liking to the dog and names him Vance. But, when her dad thinks Vance is Ellen's Christmas present to him, she gives Vance to Harold.moreless - Ep 11Bowl, Baby, Bowl12/4/96
Ed decides to take Ellen, Audrey, and Joe out bowling for their hard work at the bookstore. Ed says he is good, but Ellen wins. Ed is a sore loser and takes it out on everyone the next day. Ellen confronts Ed on this. He invites Ellen over for dinner and a game of pool afterward. It is a close game, but Ed wins. So, Ellen becomes a sore loser. They decide to have a final match off at the bowling alley. They are tied in the last frameEllen needs one more pin to win. Emily, Ed's daughter, asks if she can bowl it and Ellen lets her. Emily gets the last two pins and Ellen wins. They call a truceuntil Sarah, Ed's wife, mentions the arcade.moreless - Ep 10Kiss My Bum11/27/96
Ellen volunteers at the soup kitchen that Ed volunteers at. Ellen serves food with a nice man, Perry. Ellen invites Perry over to a special Thanksgiving dinner Paige is making, and he says he will come. Since Spence's mom is coming, she has the dinner catered. Everything is going great until they find out that Perry is homeless. Everyone suddenly feels very awkward, and so they end up escaping to the hall. Perry notices, and decides to leave. Later, at the soup kitchen, Ellen apologizes for everything.moreless - Ep 9The Pregnancy Test11/20/96
Girls' night out. Paige thinks she is pregnant, so they all decide to take pregnancy tests. They wait for the results. But then they are distracted. Later, they check the results, and one comes out positive. Paige and Audrey completely ignore Ellen as a possibility, which makes Ellen feel like she doesn't fit in. Paige freaks out, but then gets her period. So Ellen assumes it is Audrey who is pregnant. In a frantic effort to find her, she doesn't, so she breaks the news to Audrey's boyfriend, Mike, right before he is about to do his stand-up. Mike freaks out and Ellen has to do go onstage. But then Audrey says she isn't pregnant.moreless - Ep 8Not So Great Expectations11/13/96
Lois signs up with a dating service and meets Vic. Ellen is worried and goes to see just who this Vic person is. But she has to sign with the service before she can see. So, she borrows Paige's clothes, signs up, and makes the video she has to make. When Ellen finds out Lois and Vic are going to a country-western club. Ellen gets the rest of the gang to go with her. Ellen talks to some lady, who ends up to be Trisha Yearwood, who used to go out with Joe.moreless - Ep 7Harold And Ellen11/6/96
Following his separation from Lois, Harold moves upstairs. He begins documenting his memoirs. Ellen worries about her father and decides to spend some quality time with him. She starts acting like her mother. She tries too hard to help, and ends up in a fight with her father. Ellen finds Harold at the local coffeehouse for the best pie. They make amends and decide to spend more time with each other.moreless - Ep 6The Bubble Gum Incident10/30/96
Ellen and Paige receive 25th reunion invitations to Camp Pineridge. Paige brings up the incident in which Megan O'Connor stuck gum in her hair, and she swears she will have her revenge. Ellen decides not to go until she finds out Megan is on the "We pine for ye, but can't find ye" list. Ellen tells her therapist that after 25 years, she still hasn't told Paige it was her that stuck gum in Paige's hair, not Megan. Then, back at camp, Megan shows up. Paige is thrilled she can carry out her plan. Ellen is thrilled when she finds out that Megan is now Sister Mary, so Paige can't continue with her plan. But Paige says she has been waiting for the day she gets her revenge, and plans to carry out the plan. So, Ellen tells Paige it was her. In the end, Ellen and Paige are best friends yet again.moreless - Ep 5Looking Out For Number One10/23/96
Ellen sees a therapist to help her cope with the break up of her parents. Claire, the therapist, tells Ellen she needs to be more honest with people, whether it is hard or not, that she needs to do it for herself. Later, at a party celebrating Ellen's mortgage approval, Ellen and Audrey see Claire tinkling in the parking lot!! Ellen's skips appointments for two weeks, but then Claire comes to check up on Ellen at the bookstore. Ellen confronts Claire about the incident, and Claire storms off. However, Ellen gains a sense of confidence.moreless - Ep 4The Parent Trap10/16/96
Lois and Harold's honeymoon took place in Cuba in 1958. So, Ellen decides to recreate it. She makes her apartment hot and humid, gets Eddie Fisher to come, and sings and dances with Paige and Audrey. She does a very nice job of recreating it, but it doesn't work and Lois and Harold leave. Ellen finally realizes she can't make her parents get back together. Meanwhile, Spence takes a job at Paige's office. Barrett gets fed up with Spence and quits. Paige blames Spence and won't have anything to do with him until he gets Barrett to come back.moreless - Ep 3Splitsville, Man10/2/96
Ellen plans a retirement party for her father. She is so anxious and invites her parents over to see her new house and to give them their gift early. Harold and Lois tell Ellen that they are separating. She calls a family meeting, where she finds that she is the only one who can't accept this. At the retirement party, Ellen tells everyone her parents are separating and makes everyone uncomfortable. Then Ellen runs away to the Hollywood sign. Her parents find her and they agree to go see a counselor if it will make Ellen feel better.moreless - Ep 2A Deer Head For Joe9/25/96
Ed Billik is brought in as Ellen's new boss. Ellen thinks Ed is great, until he hangs a deer head on their office wall. Ellen does not appreciate this at all, but Ed says it's staying. Then Ellen learns Ed plans to fire Joe. So, Ellen kidnaps Ed's prized deer head and holds it as ransom until Ed rehires Joe. In the end, Ellen wins, earns Ed's respect, and Joe is reinstated.moreless - Ep 1Give Me Equity Or Give Me Death9/18/96
Ellen is approached by hippieish Tom and Larry, who want to buy the bookstore, but continue to let Ellen run it. Ellen gets an "absolutely not" attitude and does not like Tom and Larry. Meanwhile, she's considering buying a house, but it doesn't really matter because she can't afford a house, unless she sells to Tom and Larry. After Spence almost loses the deal for her, Ellen accepts Tom and Larry's offer for the bookstore.moreless
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Season 3
- Ep 27The Mugging5/21/96
A reluctant Ellen is persuaded to come forward as the witness to a mugging she never saw. - Ep 26When The Vow Breaks (2)5/15/96
Ellen has just walked in on Paige and Spence kissing. They try to convince Ellen that it wasn't at all what it looked like. But then Paige and Spence argue and both give heated demonstrations of how it was the other person's fault for the kiss occurring. Ellen tells Paige to call off the wedding, but Paige won't. Ellen refuses to stand for this, and as the ceremony begins, Paige walks down the aisle, with Ellen still on her train, trying to keep her from going. But Paige makes it up to the aisle. The minister asks if anyone knows of a reason why Paige and Matt should not be married, and Matt is the one to speak up. Then Spence comes bursting in to stop Paige from marrying Matt, just to learn that the wedding has already been called off.moreless - Ep 25The Tape5/14/96
Ellen and her friends make a frantic effort to retrieve a racy videotape that winds up in the wrong hands. - Ep 24When The Vow Breaks (1)5/8/96
It's Paige's wedding day. Heather is mad at Paige for letting Ellen be the Maid of Honor, so she has refused to help. Ellen and Spence go to make sure everything is set right in the ballroom, but find out there is a big ventriloquists' thing going on. Then Ellen realizes Paige's mom has passed out with the dummies. Peter and Barrett try to put nylon's on her mom. Peter announces the cake has not arrived yet. Audrey thinks Ron Pallilo has the hots for other girls other than herself. Matt arrives late and gives Ellen a duffel bag to put in his hotel room, but goes to the wrong room and the FBI thinks she's an assassin. After somehow getting out of that mess, the ceremony is about to begin. But Paige isn't there. Ellen goes in search of Paige and walks in to find Paige kissing Spence.moreless - Ep 23Go Girlz5/1/96
Paige is upset about Matt's bachelor party, so Ellen and Audrey decide to throw a slumber party. But nobody RSVP's except Lorna Irons, the boss Paige doesn't like. Ellen hires a psychic and she does a card reading on Paige. They all become worried when everything begins to come true. After Ellen makes a crank call, the people call back; Ellen is worried, so they move the party to her parents house. Ironically, Paige and the girls end up having a fun and interesting night, while Matt feels bad for Paige and gets all depressed.moreless - Ep 22Two Mammograms And A Wedding4/3/96
Ellen has an upcoming mammogram, and is nervous. While in the waiting room, she talks to Chloe, a welding artist. Ellen is scared, so Chloe tells her to remember "I Love Lucy" episodes. Ellen, along with Spence, go to make Chloe's welding studio because Ellen wants to be friends with Chloe now. Then at the bookstore, Chloe drops by, but they have nothing to say. Paige finally has time for Ellen and gets her fitted for a bridesmaid's gown.moreless - Ep 21Too Hip For The Room3/20/96
Buy The Book doesn't make the top 20 list in "The Hollywood Reader" for Hippest Hangouts. Ellen sets out to make Buy The Book hipper. She decides live music would be good, so she auditions people. Ellen is stuck with The Shapiros, a bad act. But everyone seems to love them. Suddenly, the bookstore is very hip. But soon, Ellen realizes the crowd is laughing at the Shapiros, not with them. Ellen feels bad, so she informs them of this. Del and Rochelle Shapiro get into a big argument, and Del is forced to do the act himself. So, in attempt to help, Ellen does the act with him. But then she tells the crowd you shouldn't laugh at people, so the crowd leaves. But the Shapiro's get a bigger gig touring with Courtney Love.moreless - Ep 20A Penney Saved...3/13/96
Buy The Book is running low, so Ellen has to save money. She thinks she may have to fire Audrey. Audrey's birthday is coming up, and Mr. and Mrs. Penney are throwing her a surprise party. Ellen, Paige, and Joe go to the party and learn that Audrey is in the money. Ellen is relieved that it can't hurt Audrey too much, but then learns that Audrey won't take anything from her parents. So, to keep Buy The Book alive, Mr. Penney donates $100,000 to the bookstore. But Mr. Penney begins changing things too much and eventually Ellen has to tell Mr. Penney she doesn't want his money because she can't stand the changes.moreless - Ep 19Two Ring Circus2/28/96
Matt tells Ellen he wants to marry Paige. He gets Ellen to go to a hockey game with Paige. After a little while, Matt arrives. But he gets knocked out after being hit in the head. So when the scoreboard puts up "Paige, will you marry me?" Ellen ends up having to accept for him. But Paige is embarrassed by the size of the ring and gets a bigger one. Then Ellen hosts an engagement party at the bookstore and puts on Paige's original ring so she'll remember to give it to Paige. But Ellen's finger gets swollen and they can't get the ring off.moreless - Ep 18Lobster Diary2/21/96
Ellen, with the help of Spence distracting a waitress, tries to rescue a 65 year old lobster, and names it Scout. She tries to free it, but it keeps returning to her. Mr. Kelsey, the restaurant owner, threatens to call the police if the lobster is not returned. But then there is a news report and Mr. Kelsey applauds Ellen. Then, Mary Tyler Moore gives her an award for humanitarianism. Ellen gets an all-expenses paid trip to Maine, so she can free the lobster. But the lobster has already died. Ellen tries to come clean but Mary assures Ellen she already knows and to get on the plane. It is reported that the lobster died an hour later from pollution.moreless - Ep 17Ellen: With Child2/14/96
The gang goes to a science museum. Ellen reveals she'd like to have children. So, she volunteers to baby-sit Mia, Matt's daughter, while Matt and Paige go camping. They hit it off and have a great time. But then Mia remembers she has a science project due the next day, and she hasn't even started. So Ellen tries to make Mia do it all herself, but tries too hard. Thus, everyone comes over to Ellen's and is working on Mia's project while Mia goes to bed. They discuss Matt and Paige's sex life. The next day, Ellen gets a call from school that she must come in immediately. Turns out Mia heard what Ellen said the night before and Mia said it to one of the boys in the class. So, Ellen is forced to sit down with Mia and do her best to explain the facts of life.moreless - Ep 16Witness2/7/96
Spence has to have a mock trial for his law school. His "witness" says she will not be able to make it, so Ellen pleads to be the witness. But Spence knows all to well, and tells Ellen she can't do it. He gets Audrey, but then she ducks out the day of the trial. Spence is forced to use Ellen, who has to pretend she was a stripper and saw the robbery. Ellen becomes Lola Bigcups and has a paper she is simply supposed to read off of, but spills her water on it. Then everything goes haywire, and Ellen ends up on tables in all sorts of positions. Meanwhile, Professor Bass, the judge for the trial, does not like Spence at all. Spence ends up storming out, giving up on law school. But Prof. Bass comes to the bookstore and admits to Spence that she just wanted him to show more emotion about it all, which will make him a better lawyer.moreless - Ep 15Oh, Sweet Rapture1/24/96
Audrey has to carpool to work with Ellen because her car broke down. After a week, Ellen can't stand it. So, she helps Audrey get a new car at the Rapture dealership that Paige suggested. Audrey buys a Rapture and is immediately invited into the "Rapture Family." Audrey becomes so obsessed with the Raptures, that she gives up pink for BLUE! Audrey starts hanging out with her Rapture friends and decides to go on a trip with them to see where her car was born. Ellen finally takes action and locks Audrey in one of the Raptures on display with her. Ellen tries to tell Audrey who her real friends are.''moreless - Ep 14Morgan, P.I.1/10/96
Buy The Book is robbed, but Ellen and Paige see the robber leaving. They go to a line-up to choose the guy. Paige picks the guy with the best hiney. It turns out to be Detective Matt Liston, and Paige falls in love. Meanwhile, Ellen tries to arrange a neighborhood watch and learns that many of the stores were robbed and all bought security systems from the same person afterward. Det. Liston stops by Ellen's and asks her help in a sting operation. She gets all wired and then the guy comes in, but the mic begins slipping. So, Ellen gets herself into all sorts of positions, trying to get the mic in the proper place. Det. Liston becomes busy with Paige, so when the security guy decides to leave, Spence runs out and tackles him.moreless - Ep 13Horshack's Law1/3/96
Paige gets invited to John Travolta's birthday and decides to bring Ellen as her guest. Ellen accidentally invites the rest of the gang. Paige is waiting for a call from the party to get the address, because that is how hip the party is. After a series of misfortunate events, they arrive at the address, but they think the party is over. So, they go to dinner. Later, they realize sitting behind them is Ron Pallilo, TV's Horshack, who has just come from John's party, and they were at the right address in the first place. Audrey falls in love.moreless - Ep 12Do You Fear What I Fear?12/20/95
Ellen invites Spence to celebrate Christmas with her family when his plans don't work out. But then Ellen's parents decide at the last minute to go on a cruise. So, they are forced to celebrate early, in the car, on the way to the airport. Spence gets a nice leather jacket, which Ellen loves, but Ellen's parents give her a burial plot! Ellen is horrified and wants to see her plot before going to Paige's mom's party. The gang is trying to cheer up Ellen, so they end up celebrating Christmas Eve decorating headstones.moreless - Ep 11Ellen's Choice12/6/95
Ellen's reading group is invited to be on "Book Chat." Ellen and Paige decide to check out the set, etc. The host, Eric Marshall, tells Ellen she can only bring 3 of the 5 members of the group. Ellen is forced to decide, and when she announces the decision, they all brake out in argument. Ellen decides it all or none, and tells Mr. Marshall that. So, they all get on the show, and then realize nobody read the book.moreless - Ep 10What's Up, Ex-Doc?11/29/95
Burt, Spence's dad, is mad when he learns his son was kicked out of med school. So, Ellen becomes the negotiator and leads Spence to believe his father understands, and Burt to believe Spence is going back to med school. When Ellen tells them the truth, they are back at each other's throats, and Burt ends up in the hospital. But Spence starts thinking about med school again. Meanwhile, there is a huge movie playing at the theater next door to Buy The Book. They can't stand it, then think it is good, then hate it again.moreless - Ep 9The Movie Show11/22/95
Paige is too busy for Ellen. Paige's movie is suddenly green-lighted and she has to find a bookstore for one of the scenes. She tells Ellen that her bookstore was of course first choice. Ellen gets to be an extra. After a few takes, the director asks Paige to fire Ellen cause she is messing up every shot. But Paige pleads with the director, and says that Buy The Book was the only bookstore they could get. Ellen overhears and gets mad at Paige for lying to her, but, like best friends, they make up.moreless - Ep 8Salad Days11/15/95
Martha Stewart comes to Buy The Book to promote her new cookbook. Ellen is so impressed by Martha that she decides to have a dinner party. Ellen wears what Martha is wearing in the book. Ellen invites the gang, and Joe decides to bring Martha. Ellen cannot seem to get dinner straight at all. It becomes a huge disaster. But in the end, Martha saves the day and orders out pizza for everyone.moreless - Ep 7She Ain't Friendly, She's My Mother11/8/95
Ellen's mom says she wants them to be friends. So, they decide to "hang out" at a pool hall. Ellen makes a fool of herself when she thinks Lois is trying to set her up with men again. The next week, Ellen goes to play bridge with Lois's friends. Ellen learns of her parents sex life, something she did not want to hear. So, Ellen tells of her experiences, and Lois threatens to send Ellen to her room. Ellen and Lois decide to just remain Mother and Daughter.moreless - Ep 6Trick Or Treat - Who Cares?11/1/95
Ellen offers Spence a job at the bookstore, but he refuses. Meanwhile, Audrey thinks she's been hired at the bookstore, but really hasn't and annoys everyone. Ellen can't seem to "fire" Audrey and asks Spence for help, but Spence starts talking of himself and they get in an argument. Ellen storms out to the Hollywood sign, firing Audrey on the way. Spence apologizes to Ellen. Ellen feels bad for firing Audrey the way she did, so she "rehires" her.moreless - Ep 5Hello, I Must Be Going10/18/95
Adam gets a photography job with "The Sun Times" in London. Ellen gives him a going away party and Adam tells here he loves her. But then plans change and Adam has to stay with Ellen for another week. At the second going away party, Ellen decides to tell Adam she loves him too. But Adam is again postponed, so Ellen has to tell Adam she doesn't really love him. Adam gets mad and Ellen tries to apologize at the airport.moreless - Ep 4The Bridges Of L.A. County10/4/95
Karen, the bimbo of Ellen's reading group, annoys Spence. But Spence sleeps with her anyway, but decides not to call her with his intentions of not seeing her again. So, Ellen leaves a message on Karen's machine, later to find out that Karen is married and her husband just heard Ellen's message.moreless - Ep 3The Shower Scene9/27/95
Spence gets cable installed in Ellen's apartment. Ellen becomes addicted to "thirtysomething" reruns. Meanwhile, Heather, Paige's perfect sister, has twins, and expects Paige to throw her the perfect baby shower. Paige brings the tape of Heather's birthing to Ellen's. But Ellen accidentally records over it with "thirtysomething." Lucky for Paige, all the guests liked "thirtysomething," so they got over it.moreless - Ep 2These Successful Friends Of Mine9/20/95
Paige gets a job as a film executive and Adam's pictures of the earthquake get picked up by Life Magazine. Ellen feels her friends no longer have time for her, as they are all off fulfilling their dreams. So Ellen decides to cash in the insurance money and get on a bus to tour the country, in search of her dream. But she ends up at an odd sort of museum, and, while talking with a magic 8 ball, realizes Buy The Book is her dream.moreless - Ep 1Shake, Rattle And Rubble9/13/95
Ellen is woken up by an earthquake and by her cousin, Dr. Spencer Kovak. Spence asks to stay with Ellen until he gets his own place since he was kicked out of his New York residency program for punching a patient. Due to the earthquake, Buy The Book is severely damaged. Ellen asks her friends to help, but is upset when they seem to have more important things to do.moreless
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Season 2
- Ep 24Thirty Kilo Man (2)5/17/95
Paige is jealous because Dan and Ellen are spending so much time together. She can't reach her on the phone; it's always off the hook. She can't meet her for breakfast. Ellen stands her up. Finally, Paige can't take it anymore, and she tells Ellen that she has lost perspective. Ellen takes offense and, for the first time in their adult lives, Ellen and Paige stop speaking to each other. They run into each other at the movies, and, in the popcorn-throwing brawl that follows, they both get kicked out of the theater. Getting thrown out reminds them of all the other times they got thrown out of the movies together, and the friends are friends once more.moreless - Ep 23Thirty Kilo Man (1)5/10/95
Ellen begins to date her old flame, Dan, after he returns from Italy with a new job. Their romance is going great, until Ellen misinterprets situations and believes Dan is part of a drug-smuggling operation. The signs are all there - import/exporting out of Miami, problems with Customs, and strange guys leaving packages. Curious, Ellen opens a package, just as her parents are arriving to meet Dan, and panics when white powder spews forward. Later, Ellen is embarrassed to learn the white powder is flour. Dan explains that he is in the food business and forgives Ellen when she explains that she is scared about their relationship but willing to give it a go. Dan agrees.moreless - Ep 22The Therapy Episode5/3/95
Ellen wants to go skiing instead of going to brunch with her mother, so she tells her mother that she is home sick. Ellen, Paige, and Adam get trapped on the ski lift and think they are going to die. Of course they don't (because that would leave us many episodes shy of syndication), but the experience causes Ellen to be consumed with guilt. She realizes she lies to her mother a lot. In fact, their whole relationship is based on lies. Ellen resolves to change and begin a new program of honesty. But can the Morgans handle the truth?moreless - Ep 21Three Strikes3/29/95
Ellen lands in jail when she's arrested at a fur protest. Much to Ellen's dismay, Adam and Paige call Ellen's parents to bail her out of jail. She is even more dismayed when her parents ask the judge to release Ellen into their custody so they can keep an eye on her. Suddenly, at 32 years of age, Ellen is grounded. After a couple of days at home, she can't stand it anymore, so she sneaks out of the house and takes her father's car to attend a concert with Paige. Her parents report the car stolen, and Ellen is now in more trouble than she ever imagined possible.moreless - Ep 20$5,0003/22/95
Ellen got $5,000 from the IRS, which is good. She thinks, however, that she owed them $1,200, which is bad. When she goes to the IRS office to ask, the agent assures her that she is actually owed $5,000. She should go out and spend the money with a clear conscience. But Ellen can't bring herself to do that, so she gives the money to a charity, Helping Hand. As Ellen's luck would have it, the IRS asks for the money back right after she gives it away, and Ellen is forced to try to get it back. In theory, that is easy, but it's a lot more difficult to actually do, especially when the money has turned into toys and a play center for disadvantaged children.moreless - Ep 19Gladiators3/1/95
Ellen tags along with Adam when he goes to try out for "American Gladiators", but the only way she can get into the arena is if she tries out. So she does. Unfortunately for Adam's dreams, Ellen makes the cut and he doesn't. - Ep 18The Sleep Clinic2/22/95
Ellen has had the same dream for eight nights in a row: She's kissing Adam, and she likes it. Paige thinks the dreams reflects some hidden feelings for Adam on Ellen's part. Ellen would rather not think about Adam in a sexual way at all. This is made more difficult when Adam sleeps with Audrey and then uses a fictitious relationship with Ellen to get away from her. Now Ellen finds herself pretending to be involved with Adam at the same time she is trying to avoid him altogether.moreless - Ep 17Guns 'N Ellen2/15/95
Ellen's apartment gets broken into while she's in it, destroying her sense of personal safety. She tries to get it back by going to an exercise class, buying a few home security devices, and, finally, going to a gun range with Audrey. It doesn't work. She's still paranoid. When she can no longer stay in her apartment, she retreats to her childhood bedroom. There, cuddled between her stuffed animals and her "Saturday Night Live" poster, her father helps her find the courage to confront her fears.moreless - Ep 16Ballet Class2/8/95
When her father brings up her childhood piano lessons at dinner, Ellen is reminded that what she really wanted was ballet lessons. In fact, she still wants to take ballet. So she signs up for an adult class. On the first night of class, it is clear that she is - by a wide margin - the least graceful student. But this does not dim her enthusiasm or her desire to dance the lead in the class recital. Six weeks later, however, despite all of her hard work and, thanks to Adam's help, tremendous improvement, another student is chosen to dance the lead. On show night, this woman throws her back out while showing Ellen how to be a graceful shrub, and Ellen replaces her in the show, fulfilling her childhood dream.moreless - Ep 15The Spa1/25/95
Paige and Ellen decide to go to a spa for a nice, relaxing weekend. The experience, however, is not quite what they expected. While the hikes are beautiful and invigorating, the massage Ellen takes for her sore muscles is painful, and the mud bath just feels dirty. Their moods are not improved by the small, spartan meals or the prison-like staff. After one day of relaxation, Ellen decides she has to make a break for it, so she and Paige try to scale the fence and get some nachos at 7-Eleven. It seems like a really good idea, until they get trapped on the fence and are left dangling.moreless - Ep 14The Apartment Hunt1/11/95
Audrey is desperate to move into Ellen's neighborhood, but Ellen convinces her to move to a far-away, raunchy apartment. Before Audrey has a chance to move in, it burns down, leaving her with only one option - to move in with Ellen. - Ep 13Ellen's Improvement1/4/95
Before going to a museum, Ellen decides that she should study the artist whose works she's viewing. When she gets there, she impresses a professor, Roger, with her knowledge. He asks her out on a date to a jazz concert, so, yet again, Ellen studies. But it turns out they go to the opera...moreless - Ep 12The Christmas Show12/14/94
Ellen's new boyfriend, Greg, is just too nice, and tries to break up with him before Christmas. However, every time she tries, it turns out to be a bad time. Eventually, Ellen finds herself at his house singing Christmas carols because all her attempts failed. - Ep 11Ellen's New Friend12/7/94
Ellen and Paige go to lunch with Audrey, and her friend, Jessica. They enjoy the company of Jessica, but not so much of Audrey, so lie to her in order to go to Jessica's party, instead of meeting up with Audrey again. - Ep 10Mrs. Koger11/30/94
Every day, when Ellen walks past Mrs. Koger's apartment, she comes out and yells at her for making too much noise. Having had enough, Ellen gains the courage to yell back, but later discovers that the woman died thirty minutes later. Feeling guilt-ridden, Ellen attends Mrs. Koger's funeral. - Ep 9The Trainer11/23/94
Paige's boss needs a personal trainer, and, obviously, there can only be one option - Ellen. He is impressed by Ellen, and listens to her pitches for television shows. Having had enough of her boss, Paige eventually quits, but Ellen decides to show him one of Paige's pitches. - Ep 8Adam's Birthday11/16/94
After having had a surprise birthday party with his successful college friends, Adam realizes that his life isn't exactly how he'd like it to be. So he takes a job as the manager of a retirement home, and moves out of the apartment. - Ep 7The Toast11/9/94
Yet again, Ellen puts something in jeopardy, and this time it's her brother, Stephen's, wedding. She accidentally mentions to the bride about Stephen's previous engagement, of which she wasn't aware. - Ep 6So Funny10/26/94
One of Adam's old friends, Theresa, visits him, but Ellen isn't that keen on her. This leads to Theresa overhearing Ellen talking bad about her, and leaves. Wanting to apologize, Ellen follows her on the plane. - Ep 5The Fix-Up10/19/94
Ellen has a blind date an old childhood friend, the class weirdo, but he turns out to be okay. Meanwhile, when Adam wins an all woman photography contest, he has to dress up as a woman. - Ep 4The Note10/12/94
At her weekly reading group, Ellen finds a note, insulting her. So, after much uncovering, she discovers it was Phil, who has a grudge against Ellen because she mentioned his toupee. Despite not recalling this, Ellen says sorry. But, at the next meeting, she lets it slip that he has no hair.moreless - Ep 3The Thirty-Minute Man10/5/94
Dan is Ellen's latest date, and he works as a pizza delivery guy. Embarrassed about his job, Ellen lies to her friends, resulting in her and Dan to end dating. Soon after though, Ellen starts to miss her pizza delivery boyfriend! - Ep 2Saint Ellen9/28/94
Ellen, Paige and Adam crash a movie premiere party, and wins a big screen television, after stealing a guest identity. Feeling guilty, Ellen volunteers at Helping Hands, and soon becomes obsessed. - Ep 1The Dentist9/21/94
Adam is dating a woman called Joanna, but thinks he should end the relationship because he believes other women find him attractive. Yet again, Ellen ends up in the middle when Adam really wants to go back out with Joanna. Meanwhile, Ellen gets crazy with a dentist, after taking some nitrous oxide.moreless
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Season 1
- Ep 11The Boyfriend Stealer8/30/94
Ellen believes that Steve, Holly's boyfriend, is coming on to her. Nobody quite trusts Ellen, so she sets out to get solid proof for Holly. However, instead of it looking like Steve is coming on to Ellen, it looks the other way round. Later, Steve turns up at Buy The Book, wanting some of Ellen.moreless - Ep 10The Soft Touch8/23/94
After bargaining a good deal with car salesman Glenn, Ellen gets the man yelled at by his boss for selling it so cheap. Feeling guilty, she buys an expensive car she can't afford, but reluctantly returns it. This gets Glenn fired, so Ellen decides to hire him at Buy The Book. But he's not very good at that either.moreless - Ep 9The Refrigerator8/9/94
Anita agrees to get an employee discounted refrigerator for Ellen, when her own one stops working. But because Anita isn't allowed to use her discount on appliances for other people, she has to keep the new refrigerator herself. This means Ellen has to have Anita's old one, and things obviously don't go smoothly.moreless - Ep 8The Houseguest5/24/94
A cousin of Ellen, called Tracy, comes to visit. But things soon start to go wrong when Tracy accuses Ellen of sabotaging her vacation. - Ep 7The Go-Between5/4/94
Ellen tries to help out Susan, her boss, find a date for a weeding she is going to attend. Ellen knows exactly who to pick - Adam, and gets him to escort Susan to the ceremony. Susan doesn't think anything of her and Adam's relationship, but Adam has other ideas, which prompts Ellen to intervene between her boss, and her roommate.moreless - Ep 6The Hand That Robs The Cradle4/27/94
Ellen has a much younger date than herself, called Tim. He wants to do all the hip things, and makes Ellen go dancing at a new club. When she can't get in, she tries a different place that Joe suggested. Ellen then becomes trendy there, and finds out that Tim isn't as cool as she thought he was.moreless - Ep 5The Promotion4/20/94
In order to get a promotion at Buy The Book, Ellen sucks up to her boss, Susan, and buys gifts for her new baby. But when Susan hears disparaging remarks about herself from Ellen, over a baby monitor, she decides that Ellen, may, in fact, be fired. - Ep 4The Class Reunion4/13/94
Holly and Anita persuade Ellen to go to her fifteenth high school reunion, after she is reluctant to. However, everybody is successful, so Ellen lies about her job, and pretends Adam is her husband. Things start to go wrong, though, when Ellen's old flame arrives, and believes that she is married.moreless - Ep 3A Kiss Is Still A Kiss4/6/94
Ellen, Adam and Holly respond to personal ads in order to spruce up their dating lives. Ellen's guy is perfect, she thinks, until they kiss. Ellen believes he kisses funny, and asks for Adam and Holly's not-very-good advice. - Ep 2The Anchor3/30/94
Ellen has a very annoying friend called Audrey. Having had enough of her, she tests the newly installed call-waiting in her apartment, to tell the person on the line that she doesn't like her friend. But Audrey just happens to be the person on the line. - Ep 1Pilot3/29/94
After having a really bad driver's license photo taken, Ellen goes back to get another one. Whilst there, Holly meets a guy called Roger, and they start dating. But Ellen suspects that Roger isn't a decent man, and is going to dump her friend.
