Elvira's Movie Macabre

Episode 36

I Eat Your Skin

Aired Saturday 8:00 PM Unknown on
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I Eat Your Skin
Writer goes to island to do research for a new book. He discovers a mad doctor is creating zombies. "Oh, hello darling. Yep, it`s me, that cute little vamp who likes her films camp, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark." She is preparing to eat what looks like chicken skin in orangesauce. "Looks like you caught me indulging myself in a little snack. Boy, watching these Midnight Madness movies sure gives me an appetite. Especially the wiener . . . I mean, the winner you picked out tonight, I Eat Your Skin. Boy, whenever someone mentions eating, I just can`t help myself. So I had the cook here at the studio commissary, Wolfgang Yuck, whip up something special just for me. I don`t know what he calls it but it sure is yummy." "Hey, Wolfie, I never was much for cooking (winks to Wolfie), in the kitchen, anyway. Maybe you could teach me how to make this recipe. I`m still young and you know what they say, it`s never too late to learn." Doctor in clip from movie: "Believe me, it is too late." "Oh, thanks. Come on, just tell me what`s in it." Doctor in clip from movie: "It`s best that you don`t know." "Okay, have it your way. It`s no skin off my back. Like I said earlier, you picked yourself a real gem tonight, I Eat Your Skin. Its got everything! Voodoo, zombies." Tom Harris in clip from movie: "Girls?" (sneers)"Yeah, girls. And dancing. Lots and lots of dancing. Why, I haven`t seen this much dancing since Fred and Ginger retired. Anyway, it all takes place in this exotic island in the Bahamas called Voodoo Island." Tom Harris in clip from movie: "Well, why do they call this island Voodoo Island?" "`Cause the name Gilligan`s Island was already taken." Tom Harris in clip from movie: "Oh, really." "That`s right, wiseguy, and if you can just keep your trap shut long enough I`ll roll it. Anyway, here it is. And you don`t have to be a dermatologist to love it. Tonight`s eczema special, I Eat Your Skin. Bone appetit!" After the end credits. "Hey, wait a minute, did I miss something? I`m supposed to be Elvira, Mistress OF the Dark not IN the Dark. Wasn`t the name of this flic I Eat Your Skin? So where`s the picnic? I didn`t see anyone in this movie chowing down on any skin. Ooooh, except maybe for Mr "Horndog" Harrison there in that one scene. Hey, Tom, what is it that you find so tasty about all those dames anyway?" Tom Harris in clip from movie: ""That skin and those eyes." "Yep, just as I thought. Well, just watch out for the sequel, I Eat Your Eyes. I`m telling you this movie could give skin flics a bad name." "Boy, they sure had me confused there for a while. But then, I`m not the quickest study in the world. Yep, some of us got brains and than some of us got a couple of consolation prizes." (indicates breasts). Tom Harris in clip from movie: "What are those, drums?" "These are not drums and you ain`t Ringo Starr. These are my . . . ah, well, ah . . . I like to call them my ballooons. You know, my, ah . . . angel bags, my fun bags, my gazongas, my Hindenburgs, (she becomes more and more excited) hooters, love muffins, chihauhaus, cha chas, ta tas." Tom Harris in clip from movie: "What are those, drums?" Elvira screams in frustration. Fitzgerald in clip from movie: "Anyone for a nightcap, hmm?" "Whoa, that is the first good idea you`ve had all night, buddy. After that I could use a good stiff one and a drink doesn`t sound too bad either. This movie sure puts me in the mood for a Zombie. Boy, I tell ya, those drinks can wake the dead. I wonder why they call them Zombies, though? Hmm, guess it`s `cause when you wake up the next morning you wish you were dead." "Well, I`m off to my favorite watering hole. See you next time `round on Midnight Madness. Until then, this will have to hold ya." She blows a kiss at the camera. "And upleasant dreams."moreless

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