Entourage Season 1 Episode 1

Eric: Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question.
Turtle: Do I give a fuck? That's the answer.

Drama: Were you smackin it?
Eric: Yea, I'm jerkin off to Sportscenter.
Drama: You are! Look, he was doggin it to the lady golfers!

Eric: Ari, I'm telling you, you ever fuckin talk to me like that again, I will slap that grin right off your face.
Ari: You're gonna get street on me now? Is that what your gonna do?
Eric: You know what, enjoy your dinner. This sake sucks!

Ari: You read the New Republic?
Eric: No, I've heard of it.
Ari: Well, I was reading that and it's interesting cause what it says is, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about!

Turtle: Who says it's a shit movie? Sounded like a cool idea to me.
Eric: This comin from a guy who thought "Guiding Light" was a cool idea four years ago. If we listened to you, we'd all be workin for some loser on a soap.
Drama: Hey! I'm up for a soap.
Eric: Sorry Drama.

Turtle: Check out the picture, he's beautiful.
Drama: He's got a great body E. Look at those calves.
Eric: This isn't a guard dog, this is a fuckin lawsuit.

Turtle: More importantly, this girl told me she loves to give head. Since I know you desperately need it, I'm gonna make sure she gives it to you.
Eric: Yea, I'm sure some girl just told you she loves to give head too, right.

Eric: What do you need?
Turtle: I'm on ass patrol. I got a six pack, one of them kinda looks like Kristen.
Eric: What are you an asshole?
Turtle: I'm just sayin, revenge fuck.

Turtle: What are you so worried about?
Drama: This is my movie too.
Turtle: Oh, I forgot. Give us your line again.
Drama: Alright, alright. "I'm out of here motherfuckers!"

Drama: We don't wanna tell you she's a bitch, and then two weeks later you get back together and your mad at us for sayin it.
Eric: It's over.
Turtle and Drama: She's a bitch!

Drama: We gotta go, ten year reunion baby!
Turtle: We? You weren't even in our class.
Drama: I hung out with a lot of those kids.
Eric: You didn't hang out with em, you sold em weed in the parkin lot. You were already like 40.

Turtle: At least they didn't fuck up your package.
Eric: What are you talking about? The posters a head shot.
Turtle: I'm just saying, shit happens. I heard Warren Beatty sent back 300,000 one sheets for "Heaven Can Wait" because his dick looked too small in sweat pants.
Drama: Guy's smart, looks out for his image.

Turtle: We saw Kristin in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hands down Vince Vaughn's pants.
Eric: She had her hands down his pants?
Johnny Drama: Yeah, both of 'em.
Eric: Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherfucker?
Johnny Drama: Nah, bro, he didn't look puffy at all... He was lookin' real good.
Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like Swingers Vince Vaughn, not Old School Vince Vaughn... it's kinda like "New School" Vince Vaughn.

Ari: Is that the way they drive in Tiananmen Square, bitch?

Drama: How come no one ever says "Hi" to me?
Eric: How come you never say "Hello" to them?
Drama: Because that's not the way it works, asshole.
Eric: Oh yeah, then how's it work?
Drama: Fucking models. If they were any good, they'd be in New York.

Drama: The guy's a legend, Vince. Just talk about his old movies, he'll love it.
Vince: What's he done?
Drama: How the fuck would I know?

Turtle: Check out the tits on the girl from Extra!