HBO (ended 2011)
Ari: Where the f**k is Peter Cole's office? Right here?... James Cameron is directing "Aquaman"?
Surprised Kid: That's great, that's awesome!
Ari: That's "awesome", huh? You didn't think to bring it up in the f***ing staff meeting? An e-mail? A yellow f***ing sticky-something?
Surprised Kid: I... I didn't know I was supposed to know that kind of stuff.
Ari: Well, what is it you're supposed to know, do you think? What the f**k do we pay you for? To get your agency card laminated so you can go to Shelter and try to f**k Mischa Barton?
Surprised Kid: I... I didn't think...
Ari: Let me tell you something. You don't have to say anything, you know why? (throws everything off of desk) Cause you can pick up all your stuff, because you're mother-f***ing fired!
CAA Assistant: What happened?
Surprised Kid: I don't know. I came in to drop off Peter's mail and Mr. Gold fired me. My life is over!
It was also comedy to see that same kid in this past weeks episode.
So many to choose from, most are from Ari:
Ari: Call me Helen Keller because I'm a fuc*ing miracle worker!
Ari: Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, everything into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioner's mask, and a fuc*ing spike paddle, don't think, just pack that bi*ch! Chop suey!
E: We had breakup-sex, all right?
Drama: Breakup-sex? Never heard of it
E:: Yeah, I mean...you have sex and... that's it, you say goodbye
Drama: That's the only kinda sex I have
|Don't know the exact quote and couldn't find it but Day **** johnny drama telling turtle something like "Mean is when I assbleeped so and so and made her ride her bike home" HaHaHa!|
yeah that was hilarious, the right quote is:
E: I'm not searchin' out a girl just to f*ck her
Drama: Why not?
E: Cause it's mean!
Drama: No, no, no, no.. mean is when I made Jess Mancini ride her bike home after I assf*cked her.
I also loved this one from last week:
E: "You know what, that's my bad. Sloan this is juliette"
E: "Wow. Really...Juliette is Heather friend...and she's with Vince...somewhere..."
I love the one when they're watchnig the sunset on the beach:
Turtle:[the guys look out towards the Pacific Ocean] What direction is that?
Drama: That's east, you idiot.
Eric:It's west, idiot.
Drama: [long pause among the guys] Well, i mean, in NY its east.
Then I love everything Ari says!!
The episode where they are at Sundance and Turtle and Drama "cross swords." The way drama is standing apart from the group listening to his iPod is so funny.
When Ed Burns embarrasses Drama on set about wacking off. The look is priceless.
And episode 305 when Turtle is at lunch with Ari and he's says
Turtle: Vince said--
Ari: (in mocking tone) "Vince said, Vince said he'd throw me a piece of p**** because he's famous -- What ever you want turtle, I will rep you."
Rufus: You wanna cry or you wanna wait?
Turtle: Can I wait near her?
Rufus: That's my daughter Turtle...so no... ...you motherfu**ing CAN NOT
or this one
Drama: I'll make breakfast for ya bro. Could you wait a little bit?
Vince: What's a little bit?
Drama: Ah... maybe eight hours or so.
or this one
Turtle: They rented Brian's Song, E!
E: I heard you. What do you want me to do?
Drama: The ultimate guy-cry movie.
Turtle: He cries in front of her, shows her he's sensitive, bang! he moves right in.
Drama: Yeah. His tears will basically act as a lubricant.
Ari: Ernesto, how manyfuking pesos did I give you for Christmas. Huh, Ernesto? Every Christmas for the past decade? Half of Mexico is eating on the tips I've given you. Now bring my motherfuking car now, por favor!
Ernesto: Sorry, Mr. Gold, I can't do it. Oh and Mr. Gold, I'm from Guatemala, and our currency is the quetzal
oh this one is faboulos
Ari: I drove to work in an $80,000 Mercedes. I'm driving home in a prop car from "The Fast and the Furious."
|One of my favorite moments came from Ari speaking to Josh Weinstein |
"Just so you know...your girlfriend, when she was in >the mailroom, she offered to blow me. True story."
Classic.....Ari Gold is the best character on television
That's right....damn how could I forget that?