Entourage

Ari: I love you Dana Gordon. Dana: You swore you would keep your mouth shut you slimy piece of shit!!

Josh Weinstein: Oh and Turtle, all my assistants love to fuck. I ask them when they interview. True story.

Ari: Josh Weinstein! Are you fucking kidding me?! Lloyd: I'm not and I tried to do the lunch cancellation trick but he was onto it somehow. Ari: Josh fucking Weinstein!!! I don't believe it. I'd rather Vince fuck my wife!!

Drama: The guy doesn't even bother to call you? Turtle: I'd say that's a substantial point loss in the service area. Drama: Forget about points, Turtle, that earns Left a bitch slap!

Ari: (pretending to be Eric) Hey bro listen, I hate to cancel on such short notice, but Vince isn't going to be able to make lunch. Sorry, bro. Andy Left's Assistant: Oh my god. Hold on, let me get Andy. Ari: Ah, you know, you don't need to do that. Just tell him he's a great big fag.

Dana Gordon: I need to talk to you. Ari: You know, Dana, the only time I've ever enjoyed talking to you is when your mouth has been full.

Drama: Didn't even offer us a drink. That's a zero for service. Turtle: But still, I'll give em a ten for amenities if she let me service that ass.

Drama: I give em a six for decor. I mean, what kind of self respecting agency has fake plants in their lobbies? Turtle: I don't think their fake, Drama, there's a girl over there watering them. Eric: Maybe the water's fake, huh, Drama?

Vince: Even after you fuck up like this, you can't even muster the strength to just, as my friend, look me in the face and say, I'm sorry. Ari: That's all you wanted? Vince: That's all I wanted. Ari: Then I'm sorry Vin. Vince: It's too late. Ari: Vince Eric: Ari, your fired.

Drama: This is every agency card any of us have been handed over the past five years. Eric: You saved them all? Drama: Yeah, like there's something weird about that!

Lloyd: It says, Alan will see you at 10:30. Ari: It's 10:10, how the fuck am I gonna make it to the Valley? Lloyd: By running, Ari, by running!

Drama: Nobody appreciates their girlfriend, until they get herpes from the next broad. Know what I'm sayin? Vince: No, I don't.

Ari: I had a nightmare. Ari's Wife: Was I with another man? Ari: No, Vince was.

Ari: What do you think? Vince: I think I need to think.

Ari: Bob, I will strip down naked and break dance through Beverly Hills, if it will get you not to sign that deal with Allen.

Vince: Fuck it, Ari's a dick. Let's flirt.

Ari: How is it to take it in the ass anyway, Lloyd? Lloyd: I don't know, Ari. I'm a top. Ari: Come on, really?

Vince: This is depressing. Maybe we just go without an agent. Turtle: Drama did that for 10 years. Really worked for him. Drama: Suck it, Turtle.

(Ari enters the office dancing) Lloyd Are you happy, Ari? Or is this madness that will turn on me on a moment's notice? Ari: This is happiness, Lloyd. This is pure heterosexual male happiness. (kisses Lloyd)

Drama: Because he's Ari and he's a dirty sweaty scumbag, .. but he's good.

Eric: Hasn't Vince gotten you laid enough, Turtle? Turtle: Well, that depends. What's your definition of enough?

Ari: Dana, I have never cheated on my wife, not since she became my wife, but if you want to jerk me in the car right now, I'm game.

Lloyd: The gay mafia has been replaced by the gay assistant corps, Ari. We know all.

Lloyd: Vince has called three times, Ari. That's three times more than he called all of last year. Ari: I know. He keeps calling me, too, and I got an e-mail. I didn't even know he knew how to do that.

Turtle: I guess you've had a lot of practice, considering how many times you've been dropped. Drama: Never officially dropped, Turtle. Although one did move without telling me.

Alan: So let me guess. This Ramones project has been causing some discomfort between you and your biggest client. Ari: Hemorrhoids cause discomfort, Alan. This is more like open-heart surgery.

Vince: He had a ginormously huge lunch Turtle: Is that even a word? Vince: I don't know.

Lloyd: What did you want me to say? Ari: That I have a huge wart on my cock that needs removal would have been better, wake the f*ck up, Lloyd.