Episodes

Sean: Hey, look at you all spiffy. Matt: Yeah, I got that custody hearing today. Sean: Oh, Jesus. Good luck with that. Matt: Oh, nah. I'll be fine. I'll just give the judge a couple of "how you doings".

Matt: What do you even know about gay? Pucks! Boy: My dads are gay. Matt: Jesus. Both of them? What are the odds of that?

Beverly: It's about Morning. How old she actually is. Sean: Oh, dear God. Why are you so obsessed with that? Beverly: I'm not obsessed. It's just mad. From everything we've heard, she was acting in that play when Lincoln was shot.

Sean: Give me a woman who looks her age. (Bev gives him her evil glare) Five years younger than her age. Seven. Ten. Ten years younger. You're a fetus?

Beverly: So, when Morning was hugging you today... Sean: There we go. Beverly: Did she feel 25 or could you sense the withered crone beneath? Sean: Maybe you should give her a hug. I'm sure she'd prefer that over your evil glare. Beverly: I don't have an evil glare. Sean: Oh, please. You look at her the way Cruella de Vil looked at those puppies.

Sean: You're just jealous because you haven't made any friends out here. Beverly: That's not true. Sean: All right. Who? Beverly: Irene. Sean: Who's Irene? Beverly: The girl who takes our script notes. Sean: Noreen. Beverly: Oh, who cares? She can't spell, and she nicks my mints.

Beverly: I thought you said he was depressed. It would really help me if he was depressed.

Matt: That guy is like my Nemesis. Beverly: You have a Nemesis? Matt: Why can't I have a Nemesis?

Matt: Fucking paparazzi. What kind of kid says, "When I grow up, I want to be a scumbag asshole with a camera, who just sits around, hoping to catch some celebrity hitting their nanny, or getting a blowjob from a tranny hooker. Beverly: Maybe if the celebrities didn't hit their nannies or get tranny hooker blow jobs, then the scumbar arsehole would be out of a job.

Diane: How drunk are you? Matt: I'm fine. Diane: Yeah, right. Matt: I am. Diane: Fine like you were at Donna's christening? Matt: I was at Donna's christening?

(Matt and Florinda talking in spanish about Beverly being a headache) Matt: ¿Es una dolor de cabeza? Florinda: ¡Uff! Un gran dolor de cabeza. Es imposible. Bring this esto, bring this lo otro. ¡Uff! De acuerdo, ¿eh? Matt: Ah, si. Claro, claro. (Matt and Florinda laughing) Beverly: What? What did you two say? Matt: Nothing. Just, uh, good morning.