ER

(while treating an extremely flirtatious patient for first-degree burns on her inner thighs) Liz: Your touch is nice. Mark: This medication will make you feel a lot better. Liz: Your fingers are very long. Long and strong. I wanted to change first and put on some underpants. I knew you'd be seeing my underpants. And touching them.

(while treating Carol) Lydia: (to Carol's roommate, who had called 911 and came with Carol to the ER) Why'd she do it? Mark: It doesn't matter why she did it. We don't ask that about any other OD that comes though these doors, and we don't ask it about this one.

Morgenstern: The unit's looking to you, Mark. You set the tone.

Rachel: Hey, Dad, look! Greene: Oh, look, a grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast. Jenn: I gave in. What can I say? You're late. Greene: Sorry. We had a big one. Building collapsed. Rachel: Mommy's reading about tarts. Jenn: Torts.

(Mr. Parker has just found out he most likely has only six months left to live) Susan: Mr. Parker, if there's one thing you learn in my job, it's that nothing is certain. Nothing that seems very bad and nothing that seems very good. Nothing is certain. Nothing.

Little boy's mom: (about Doug Ross) He's very handsome. Haleh: He knows it.

Ross: (to mother of battered child) How dare you treat your child like this? He's a little kid! I try to be understanding in my job, but lady, this just stinks.

Benton: John Carter? Carter: Yes, sir. Benton: Peter Benton. You the surgical student? Carter: Yep. Third year. Benton: Good. We're gonna be spending a lot of time together so let me show you around so you'll be oriented. This is the admitting desk. If you need someone paged or a chart called up, you do it here. This is Timmy. Don't shake his hand, he's afraid of disease. This is the way to the lab. We do crits, counts, spin downs. Chemistries are marked with these slips and left at the front desk. Mark everything "stat" whether you want it fast or not. The Chem lab is 7022. The Heme lab is 6944. Memorize it. Everybody gets an IV the minute they walk through the door. Use an angiocath with a 16 needle. You need a large bore in case they're bleeding and you need to transfuse them. Do you know how to start an IV? Carter: Uh, actually, no. Benton: I thought you were third year. Carter: I am, but all I've done is dermatology and psychiatry. Benton: The well-dressed specialties, huh?

Carter: I thought I was going to be sick. (pause) I'm sorry. Greene: Don't ever say you're sorry. See, there are two kinds of doctors: there's the kind that gets rid of their feelings, and the kind that keeps them. If you're going to keep your feelings, you're going to get sick from time to time. That's just how it works.

Greene: (to Carter) By the way, I went to medical school with Dr. Benton. He used to get sick all the time, so don't let him give you any crap. You'll be fine.

Benton: That's it? Anything else? Jerry: Well, I've got a bit of a problem. My throat's been acting up. Benton: You need to see a doctor.

Jeff Barr: Are you married? Susan: No, I'm a doctor. Jeff Barr: Well, then listen... Susan: Take it easy, Mr. Barr. You wouldn't want to fall on your face twice in one day.

Morgenstern: Dr. Benton is the best resident we have. You learn everything you can from him, except attitude. Benton: (to Carter) He didn't mean that. Morgenstern: Yes, he did.

Benton: (having first spotted Carter) Oh, no! Would you look at this? Greene: That's the first tailored white coat I've ever seen. Benton: Isn't he lovely? Susan: Lovely. Greene: Do you think he knows anything? Ross: He knows how to dress.