ER

(Abby catches up with Carter) Abby: Hey. Hey! You changed! Carter: I just put on some scrub pants. Abby: Oh come on! You know Carter, my outfit is really starting to bug me, too! But we agreed to stay in costume the entire shift. Carter: Hey, I am. Abby: No, you're not! That's like half a costume, so it's like 50 percent commitment. Carter: Are you serious? Or are you kidding? Do you know what I've been dealing with down here? Abby: Yeah! Me too, and in pumps!

Romano: Elizabeth! Elizabeth: Uh, Robert, can we talk tomorrow? I really have to get Ella home. Romano: I thought you might want this before you left. Elizabeth: That's my ring. Romano: Amazing what you can do with a laparoscopic camera and a snip. Elizabeth: Thank you. Romano: De nada.

(Corday walks in on a surgery, where Romano is operating on a pig) Romano:Though even with one arm, I'm a better surgeon than the rest of the hacks in this hospital. Corday: Robert, you're not cleared to do surgery, even on farm animals.

(Chuny and Luka are arguing and walk by Carter, who is wearing a skeleton costume) Carter: Is there a problem here? Luka: Yeah, you got no guts!

Chuny: Labs on your baby. (throws them at him as she walkes by) Luka: Thank you! Abby: Glad to see you've made up! Luka: Hey, I'm being professional. She's the one having trouble. I warned her. Abby: Warned her about what? Luka: Nothing. Abby: Oh my God. You are such a jerk! Luka: What? Abby: You slept with her? That's what this is all about. What's your problem? Luka: Ey, one time. Abby: One time? One time with Chuny, one time with a patient's mother in radiology. Luka: Hey, you never complained! Abby: Yeah, I never let it affect my work. You two need to figure this out. Luka: So, what do you want me to do? Abby: I don't know, tell her you're sorry. Tell her it was wrong. Just fix it. Luka: I'm not gonna kiss her ass. Abby: That's how this whole problem started.

Luka: Are you wearing that for your shift? Abby: Yes. It's Halloween. You know, Jerry sent out a memo. Susan: Ooo. Naughty nurse! Abby: I'm not a naughty nurse. Susan: I like it. Abby: I'm not... It's like an old fashioned nurse. Frank: Looks naughty to me. Luka: So what, you're like a kurva nurse? Abby: What's that? Luka: How do you say, uh, sly, uh, tramp, whore... Abby: Yeah, I got it. You know, maybe I should've worn that school-girl outfit you bought me. Susan and Frank stares at Luka Luka: (laughs) Eh, she's making a joke!

Chuny: I'm not working with him. Abby: Why? Chuny: Because he treats nurses like idiots! Lukaism: Hey, if your boots fit! Abby: Shoes. Luka: Whatever.

(after Corday loses her wedding ring down the drain) Romano: Somebody call the Tiffany's Search and Rescue team!

Corday: I lost my wedding ring! Romano: Oh boo-hoo, this guy's about to lose a leg! I'd say chop chop, but that would be in extremely poor taste!

Luka: Maybe you could wear some Swaztikas with that outfit. You could be a naughty Nazi nurse. Abby: You totally suck, you know that?! Luka: Hey, careful! Creating a hostile work environment!

Romano: (to Corday) I know most people don't like me. I don't care. I don't like most people. But I'm good at what I do. I save people's lives, everyday. People who no one else can help. If I can't do that...

Weaver: Chuny, where's Kovac? Chuny: Don't know. Don't care.

(to Paul Nathan, about Weaver) Abby: Don't worry, she doesn't bite... much.

(Abby is wearing a sexy nurse's outfit) Drunk patient: I wanna go to heaven on the bosom of a beautiful woman. Abby: I don't think your HMO covers that.

Carter: Frank, where's your costume? Frank: I don't observe pagan holidays that celebrate devil worship. Abby: (taking the candy away from him) Well, this is only for satanists.